Last Post in Texas

...well, for a while, anyhow. 

Tomorrow we are jumping on a plane and headed up to Canada!

Our Julys are spent up in Edmonton, visiting the hubs' family and him finishing up the off season training. I guess he should skate a few times in the summer.

I know, I know. You are excited for my trip, but sad that this means no more Texas Nad Watches or crappy 99 Cent Only Store newspaper ads for while. 

Well, aren't you a lucky duck, that is just what I have for you today!! And then I will lay off on the Truck Nutz pictures for a while. Unless I spot them in Canada. Those northern ones are a rare breed!

Without further ado, a NW2011 update:

Katie from Chicken Noodle Gravy sent me this goodie from Georgia the other day. Isn't she a sweetheart?!

(THANKS Katie!)

Oh yes, you're eyes are not tricking you. Those are two cowbells hanging off the back of that nice gentleman's truck. I say nice, because anyone who sports the Confederate Flag and a bumper that reads "Keep It Flying" must just be a polite young man. Yeah. Right. 

But I guess I shouldn't assume that it is always men driving these things. You can't really tell from this picture, but there was a mom and her two young daughters riding in this badboy. Nice nuts, ladies. 

Those shiny metal ones are popular!

Lovely, way to leave an impression on those little girls. Sorry for the blurry picture, I was driving...with my mom. Nice, huh?!

Ya'll want to hear the best compliment I have been getting from all of you readers?!? "I saw Truck Nutz the other day and thought of you!" haha, gets me every time. 

Although I might not have a NW2011 update for you anytime soon, keep those eyes peeled and that camera handy. You never know when a pair of Truck Testicles might just hop up on ya. 

And now, for the entertainment I found in the morning paper. You really can't beat this. 

Ya'll remember the 99 Cent Only Store back page ad from about a month ago?!?

What a dumb question, of course you do!

Well I seem to have come across the mother load of them all. See if you can spot what is wrong with this headline...

Maybe those ad writers need to double check just how many days there really are in one week.

So yeah, it is open 9 days a week. Good for you, 99 Cent Only Store. But you still won't let me have a full bikini. 

Ummmm, so you mean I can only pick one...top or bottom?!?! Oh geez, if I go with the bottom, then I will truly be European. But with the top, I can really make a splash. So confused! Thanks for only letting me have one end or the other, guys.

:)

Nope, never boring around here. And hope you are having an equally as entertaining Hump Day, bloggyland. 

Tomorrow, I have a short clip about why I really love Canada. And Friday, a very special Frackin' Friday all the way from down under. It's going to be great!

The More You Know Monday

Happy Monday!

Get over it, time to learn!

:)

There is a new addition to our little family. Yes, it is exactly what you are thinking...

I've adopted a word!! 

 

Save the Words, a site run by the Oxford University Press, is making a move to save old and discarded words. Here is what they have to say:

Each year hundreds of words are dropped from the English language. Old words, wise words, hard-working words. Words that once led meaningful lives but now lie unused, unloved and unwanted. Today, 90% of everything we write is communicated by only 7,000 words. You can change all that. Help save the words!

There are literally hundreds to choose from. I spent a while picking out my little cutie. And since I am supposed to share and use her as much as possible, I thought it would be great for a More You Know Monday.

My adoptive word is: 

Kexy
Meaning: Dry, brittle, withered

Need a good way to remember it?? Just think of 'Sexy or Kexy' as in 'Chic or Geek' (why will that always remind me of the Jenny Jones Show?!), 'Hot or Not', 'Classy or Trashy'.

Or take a look at my chart comparing things I find Kexy and Sexy. 

Warning, very subjective!

Sources (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

Don't act like you aren't going to use it for the rest of the day! See how easy that was?! I saved a word.  So jump over to the website, and adopt your very own today. 

Who knows, you could end up with a gem like Kexy. We are so lucky to have her :)

Yes Please!

I was Stumbling around the internet the other day (if you don't know about Stumble Upon, how dare you waste your time any other way :)), when I came across this website. 

It is definitely a sign.

Here is the Hotel and Igloo Village Kakslauttanen, located in northern Finland in the Lapland region. I mean, legit in the Arctic Circle. Don't know if you can find any travel promos for this hotel, so better save up.

Wait, Finland is way the heck up there?! :)

I've already told the hubs that I want to do a winter trip up in the Arctic Circle/Lapland. I know right, what happened to that little Texas girl who thought anything below 80 is 'chilly'?! 

Don't you think it would be such an amazing experience to see an actual Winter Wonderland!! 

And with this hotel offering all this, who could ask for more:

"In the winter time we offer husky safaris, snowmobile safaris, reindeer safaris and ice-fishing trips as well as guided ski treks. The Saariselkä ski trail network of over 180km passes right by the hotel. You can rent cross country skis from the hotel."

Man, throw in a reindeer sled ride - not even sure if those exist! - and I am sold!!

Oh, and I haven't even shown you the best part. Along with the hotel and cabins, they offer a accommodations in a glass igloo. Yep, glass igloos!

"Glass igloo provides a one of a kind opportunity to admire the northern lights and millions of stars of the crystal clear sky in a comfortable room temperature. Built from a special thermal glass the temperature inside the igloo always stays a normal level. It also prevents the glass from not getting white frosted, hence keeping the view clear even when the temperature outside drops to under -30°C. Every igloo is equipped with a toilet and luxury beds."

 Imagine falling asleep with this view!

And from this photo, I am assuming they have wild zebras there in Lapland. I mean, why else would they decorate the rooms with them?! Haha. Beautiful!

Or even better, my absolute dream is to see the Northern Lights. Now I am not sure how much sleep you would get under these bright babies, but wouldn't it be a sight!

Never mind the ridiculous cost, cough $500 cough, this is a once in a lifetime kind of vacation!

We have to take advantage of our location this year.

Um, OK. Sold! Just came across this photo on the website :)

Yes Please!!! Can't you just imagine me on one of these bad boys?! Ohhh yeah, haha. 

Tomorrow, another The More You Know Monday. Prepare to be learn-ed. Happy lazy Sunday, bloggyland. I sure am enjoying mine :)

Frackin' Friday - Guest Post with Missy

Another Friday, another reason to celebrate....

Frackin' Friday is here ya'll (say that like Britney Spears in your head to get the full effect).

We have another batch of English words that I am still not quite sure are English. Where do those Brits come up with this stuff!?!

Take it away, Missy!

I’m Missy from ‘If it’s not ok, then it’s not the end.’ I am so pleased to have been allowed to guest post today as Frackin’ Friday is one of my favourite posts of the week to read. It’s always good to learn a new word and then having fun trying to integrate it in to daily use.

I’m from England, the North to be specific. ‘Up here’ we use a range of words that even friends a few hours down the road do not understand or use. I am going to do a kind of yin/yang post and treat you all to a not so nice and nice word...hope you enjoy!! Be ready to make notes!

rank 

(Pronounced exactly how it looks)

You’re probably thinking, “Well this is an ok word? How can this be justified to be in a Frackin’ Friday post?!” Don’t worry; I will clarify its place by giving you our meaning of the word.

Synonyms for this word would include; disgusting, awful and yuck to name a few. That’s right, if the word rank is used in your direction...be offended!

I am sure the majority of you are thinking about who or what you could call rank. Here are some ways which it could be used in common everyday life.

 

“That looks rank...” {Via}

“She looks rank...” {Via}

“He’s proper rank like...” {Via}

So all in all if anything looks, tastes or smells, be it person or object, bad then it can be classed as ‘rank’.

Now for another Northern word:

Canny 

(Pronounced: Can-ee)

Now this is quite a special one as it can be a compliment or a backhanded compliment of sorts. It basically means ok, good and nice etc. To explain both ways it can be used check below:

“Ooo that’s a canny nice dress like!” {Via}

“Sooo...How was the date?”

“Well, it was canny I suppose.”

“Will you be seeing him again?”

“Err... no...”

See, it this sense, canny is not the word you want to be described as is it? Basically the date was ‘ok’ therefore he was ‘ok’. When someone is described as canny it’s a pretty non-descript word which doesn’t bode well. However, like in the sense of the dress, the word nice was added then it becomes good as canny = very.  Below is another example of this:

It’s canny hot/cold.

{Translate- It’s very hot/cold.}

Now it means very. This illustrates what happens when you put ‘canny’ in front of words. Basically, if you’re described as canny nice then woo!! If you’re described as canny then ...sorry... you’re non-descript!

I hope you have been taken notes on this one:

Rank and Canny

Two very Geordie, but very fun words!

To finalise I want to explain the addition of ‘proper’ and ‘like’.

Proper- In Northern England where I live, we use it to emphasize a word. By using it in front of the person or thing which is ‘rank’ then you are justifying just how bad it is.

Like- This is a specific colloquial term, we put like on the end of a lot of sentences. It really lacks any meaning, it’s just there.

Honestly, the Geordie language can lead to all sorts of faux pars; I hope I’ve been of some help!

Hope you have enjoyed my Frackin Friday guest post- have fun with your new words!!

That was canny good, Missy! Oh, look at me sounding all Geordie....at least I think I used it correctly :)

Have a great Friday, bloggyland. Enjoy every moment of it. I am looking forward to catching up on some blogs (feel like I have been saying that lots lately! lol).

Gotta Get Me An Etsy Shop!

If I started this week with "The More You Know Monday", then yesterday should have been called "Truck Testes Tuesday".

Which, of course, leads to today..."WTF Wednesday"

Man, I could do this all week!

Once again, I came across Truck Nutz at the gym. What is it about these jacked guys that want everyone to know that their truck is a phallic symbol?! I mean, the hubs and I just roll up in a 10 year old Jetta, sans testes, and we are still confident about ourselves. 

Just praying that the owner of the truck would NOT walk out mid photo

Note, this one isn't from my great state, but it's fun Cajun neighbor.

Something about this pair got me thinking. They are kind of fancy and bling blinging, after all. 

Hey, maybe I should open up one of those Etsy shops! I mean, everyone has been saying how I need to import the Truck Nutz to other countries, when really, the opportunity to expand on this ingenious idea has been right in front of me the whole time.

I think I am ready to unveil my new million dollar idea.

Introducing, The Family Jewels.

Let me ask: Do you often find yourself jealous that your douchey man has Truck Nutz while your lobes are left out in the cold?? Feel like there are no real accessories out there for ladies that express how big of a douche you want to be too!?

Well worry no more. Get ready to have your world rocked with these babies!

I can see my reflection in those! (source)

Man, look at that bling!!!

And for a limited time only, available in every color of the rainbow, including acid washed teal. 

Flawless! (source)

Looking goooood!

For some reason, early 90s Glamor Shots felt necessary.

Come on, wouldn't you love to stumble upon an Etsy shop full of these?! At least they would be good for a laugh or two. Or a great gag gift.

Maybe one day my dream of opening a shop full of The Family Jewels will become a reality...

:)

I have to admit, I felt bad for these people shown above. Here I am, ruining, I mean improving, their perfectly good Glamour Shot with these hanging monstrosities.

But just couldn't bring myself to put them on my own Glamour Shot-ish (really, Olen Mills). I'm already pushing the envelope with my parents by doing these NW2011 posts, never mind plastering Truck Nutz on a sweet, uncorrupted 5 year old me. 

The very least I can do is share my own personal hair teased, semi oil painted picture. You can imagine the earrings on it yourself. 

Man, if only I could volume like that now!

Yep, that really is me. 

You're welcome.

The More You Know Monday

Bloggyland, guess what, it's Monday!?! Like you didn't already know that :) Hope everyone is having a great start to the week. And if not, hope it just gets better and better from here on out. 

Don't you just hate those always optimistic, happy-go-lucky people?! 

Haha, it's ok, I like foolin' ya'll and letting you believe that I am. Nah, really life is too short to stay mad or angry for too long. Plus, I had a really fun weekend with friends. We drank too much wine and sung one too many karaoke songs. Yep, a perfect time was had, so how can my Monday not be awesome?!

Quick post today, but I came across this and thought it was too perfect not to share. I had wanted to do a post about the Winter War, a battle during WWII in which Finland, for lack of better words, kicked some Soviet ass. And after seeing this below, I don't think I could have put it any better way....

But I think it needs a better closing line. Not "Be Afraid, Be Very Afraid". I am feeling more along the lines of "Be Excited for this Adventure. Very Excited". 

Way to go, Finland! Seriously!! You know they have got to still be proud of the Winter War to this day. Pretty amazing feat for a country of only 5 million. 

And I appologize to any Russians out there who might have stumbled over. Hope it's not still an open wound :)

So yeah, there was your lesson for today, kiddos. The more you know, right?! 

I miss these! (source)

Hey, learning never gets old. Maybe I could start a new Monday post idea. The More You Know Monday??!?

Force that learning on you. 


Whether you like it or not! 


:)

Frackin' Friday - Scheißegal

Hey Bloggyland! Happy Friday to you!!

Today is Frackin' Friday, so how could you not have a good Friday, or weekend, for that matter?!

When we first found out about Finland, I wasn't sure if I was going to do German Frackin' Fridays anymore. Yes, of course, that was the first thought that went through my mind ;)

But there were so many good ones that I had lined up, that I felt it would be a great travesty if I didn't continue.

And I would hate to dissappoint all you good people out there with no Frackin' Fridays this summer.

PLUS, no one sent me their version of Frackin' Friday for this week (thanks a lot!) so I am left to do the dirty work. 

Interested in sharing a dirty foreign word?? Or maybe just a fun expression to say in another language?? Then get your butt to your email and send me something over to: TexaGermaNadian (at) gmail (dot) com. Do it!

So, since I don't know any Finnish...yet, I am sticking with the German for right now.

And today's word really sums up how I have been feeling this whole week. Not bad, or in a crappy mood, but rather...

Scheißegal

(pronounced: Sh-eye-z E-gaul)

Scheiß comes from, well, come on, all of ya'll know that one. If you don't, Hi! Welcome out from under your rock. And 'egal' basically means "Whatever" or "I don't care". 

So Scheißegal is the best way to say "I don't give a flying flip" in German. Got it?!

Good. Feels good to say, doesn't it. 

And it seems to always remind me of this cute little picture....

Love it! (source)

I personally like to use it as an end to a losing/meaningless argument. Instead of saying "yeah, whatever", just say "Scheißegal" and you win. Everytime.

Actually, when things would go not exactly according to plan in Germany, it was one of my favorite expressions. 

Scheißegal. It is what it is!

And I need this shirt!!!

It's whatever to me! (source)

Hope you are having a fun Friday. And although I probably won't post much during the weekends this summer, I am always around. Stalking. But in a good non-charge pressing way. :)

The "holy crap, who would pay for that" Winner

Holy Thursday. No, not a real holiday or anything like that. But just glad that it is here :)

Alright, no lollygagging around today.Here is the shiznitabam you have been waiting for.

IMHO, the worst of the worst of SkyMall.

If you didn't get a chance to see my choices for 'the good's and 'the bad's from the last post, take a second. 

Especially if you are prone to getting sloppy drunk and sloshing wine around....

See?! You're welcome.

Now, for the "holy crap, who would pay for that" category.

For those of you who know SkyMall, you know that this was a tough decision. It is loaded with page after page of useless, albeit fun and entertaining to look at, crap.

But I think this one takes the cake.

Or should I say, it's the cat's meow...

Introducing the Litter Kwitter!

Now you can freak your cat out when you walk in on him going number 2.

"With the Litter Kwitter 3-Step Cat Toilet Training System, you can teach your cat to use any human toilet in eight weeks or less."

I'm sorry kitty, so sorry.

It wasn't really the product that freaked me out, it was the picture above.

And once visiting the SkyMall website, I encountered this beauty.

Why do drugs when you can just watch this video and feel like you are having an acid flash back*!

(*no, don't know from experience, thanks.)

I dunno, call me crazy, but there would be something sooo freaky about walking into your bathroom and seeing little Kitty Kat taking a deuce on the toilet. And I know my cat gets pure joy out of pooping in a sandy litter box and then kicking the germy particles all over the place. So how could I deprive him of that!?

:)

Anyways, next time you fly, you'll have to check out SkyMall and see what all kinds of goodies you can find. I am looking forward to my next flight in 2 weeks, maybe they will already have the next issue out! haha. 

Have a great Thirsty Thursday. And I think I might have to do at least one more German Frackin' Friday tomorrow. You know, for old time's sake.

You Just Got SkyMauled

I'm thinking of becoming a copywriter for SkyMall.

Their new motto could be something along the lines of:

"SkyMall, all the sh*t you never knew you needed"

Or even better:

"Can't find enough useless crap at sea level? Then find it at 30,000 feet in the air. SkyMall."

But as hard as I try, I can't resist these little overly handled, pages stuck together with random food scraps magazines. I am compelled to flip through one every time we fly. The people fortunate enough to sit next to me on the plane while I pick out the newest addition to my jewelry collection, pet accessory, or even work out equipment think I am crazy.

And let's be honest, I have never bought anything from SkyMall, nor do I know anyone who has ever bought anything.

But let's take a look at some of the finer selections that just might catch your eye. 

The good, the bad, and the 'holy crap, who would pay for that'.

And no, this is not a sponsored post....I think you will probably find that out real quick :) Although all products can be found at www.skymall.com (as well as all the picture credits, schpanks!)

The good 

(errr, decent)

The Headache Relieving Wrap - $49.95

My attraction to this item may or may not have had anything to do with a weekend full of drinks. How awesome would this sucker be after that one too many the night before?!

Actually, I am going to rename it. It is now officially the "Hungover Headband".

Maybe it could even be made in a variety of colors, you know, with feathers and sparkles. Something to jazz it up.

And you could totally get away with wearing this to work. It's not that noticeable.

Not going to lie. I mocked this one at first. Until I realized it's potential... 

Wine Glass Holder Necklace (Set of 2) - $24.95

I couldn't make up a better tag line for this if I tried. 

"Keep your hands free at parties by keeping your wine close at heart!" 

Ummm, yes please! I didn't realize just how hard it is to hold a glass of wine until I found this product. Now I will refuse to have my Chardonney without one of these fancy schmancy lanyard things.

Now, if only they could invent a martini glass that doesn't spill....

I'm embarrassed for this one, but so intrigued! Oh yes, it is the infamous...

SkyRest Travel Pillow - $29.95 (yikes, for a blow up pillow?!)

Besides the cheesy run down that SkyMall gives this product, here is what the 'experts' are saying:

"The miraculous, wedge-shaped travel pillow makes even the most uncomfortable spots downright pleasant." 

Well, I am pretty sure it isn't curing cancer, so maybe a wee bit short of miraculous.

But you have to agree, that guy is getting some heavy shut eye. Lucky. SkyMall even promises that it is easy to deflate, but fails to mention how long it takes and loud is it to inflate?? Like seriously, what would you do if the yahoo next to you sat down and started puffing on this baby??

Honestly, has anyone tried one of these or knew anyone who has??? I am curious. Might have to be something that I pick up for the flight to Finland....with a review of course :)

OK, the BAD.
Like real bad.

I don't even know where to start with this one.

The Sling Couture Fashion Face Mask - $9.95

"Great for protection against Swine Flu, the Sling Couture Face Masks offers the same protection as traditional masks do, but without the hospital look."

Yeah, that is exactly what I want, to draw more attention to looking like a dweeb. Yes, I get it, these things are supposed to protect you from all kinds of germs. But really, if you are shopping for virus protection in SkyMall magazine, it is already too late. The germ infested pages have already gotten you.

Banana Hammock much?!

Not only do they protect against the swine flu virus (little late on that one, folks) but they have sequins, glittery embroidery and even animal prints. Oh, and they come in men's and women's colors. What every guy wants, right?!

This next one is more for the ridiculous picture than anything. Poor guy, if I were his friend, I would make fun of him til the end of time for this photo shoot.

It's the Head Spa Massager, enter a state of euphoria - $49.95

"It's like thousands of tiny fingers simultaneously massaging your scalp."

Wow, that isn't creepy at all. I don't think I would ever try to sell something by making it sound like you were getting attacked by a butt load of midgets.

He looks like he is out of the movie Tron or something. Now, imagine bringing the SkyRest blow up pillow and this baby on a plane. The US Marshal might just have to escort you off.

Wow.

Bigfoot, the Bashful Yeti Tree Sculpture - $69.95

Awwww, who doesn't like to think of mythical creatures all sweet, cuddly and shy like this?!

If this isn't the worst thing I could find, you better believe the last one is going to blow your mind.

SkyMall says "Painstakingly hand-painted to make passers-by look twice, our believe-it-or-not sculpt is available only at Design Toscano!"

So basically, what you are telling me, is that this junk sculpture, that would probably have the neighborhood association on your butt to take down, was a not a labor of love, but rather something that caused trouble and meticulous effort?! Yeah, way to take advantage of those sweatshop workers.

And, for the absolute worst of the worst. The 'holy crap, who would pay for that'.


Well.

You are just going to have to wait for the next post. This one deserves one all it's own. 

Unreal.

What is your favorite SkyMall product?? Has anyone ever bought anything from the magazine?

You fools.

Playing Catch Up

Well, I am back in the great state of Texas, sweating my butt off, and reliving the nice weekend over and over again in my head. 

I was lucky enough to be in Denver the last couple of days. Got to catch up with friends from college and went to a wedding up in the gorgeous mountain village of Beaver Creek. 

View from the cocktail hour at the Ritz. Fancy!

Beautiful bride, beautiful setting and a great time with friends. Really, what more could you ask for?!

A big group of us sorority sisters there for the wedding.

I'm playing a nice little game of catch up today. Lots to do around the house here and lots to do in bloggyland. Been missing ya'll!

Oh, almost forgot. I figured out how to get that special Truck Nuts picture off my dad's camera. Haha, that will never get old on there. 

So, without further ado, here are the white trashiest Truck Nutz around. Gotta love 'em. 

Told ya they were homemade!! And rusty!

If you aren't having a great Monday after that, then I don't know what to do. 

I'll be around to visit all of ya'll today!! At least that is my goal :)

And for tomorrow, I can't wait to share with you the real reason I love traveling....SkyMall!!!