Not gonna to lie, it's my favorite store

In the last few weeks, I've mentioned a ton of things that I missed about being home.

There was my family and friends. The food. The beautiful sunny weather. The food. My kitty cat and the swimming pool. The food.

But I have failed to mention something that I really do long for everyday while we are abroad.

The local newspaper.

Call me old fashioned, but I would rather read the real, hard copy paper than anything that is written online. There is something about flipping through the leafy pages and having it all laid out in front of you.

Not to mention that it is my morning ritual. I wake up, have a cup of coffee, and read the most important section of the newspaper: The entertainment section. That of course includes the crossword and Jumble (which I kick ass at, in case you were doubting my mad skills) and - sometimes not so helpful - Hints from Heloise (is that just a Southern thing??) and can't forget about Dear Abby. All very helpful and useful information. Let's call is pre-coffee, light reading.

Sorry Inmagine, when I become rich and famous, I'll buy this print. Or just take it down. (source)

It is my wake up call and a chance to get my head on straight for the day. And everyone knows not to talk to me before I have done this, because they are likely to get their head bit off, or at the very least an evil stare.

I'm apparently Satan's spawn pre-coffee as well.

And yes, don't tell me anything like "Oh, well then wait til you have kids, they are up and ready to go before you are and all chippery and shiznit in the morning." I get it, and that is precisely why we don't have kids yet.

ANYWAYS, rambling. As I was enjoying the morning paper last week, I came across the weekly full-page ad for the 99 Cent Only store. I love perusing their 'selection' to see just how far 99 cents can take you these days.

And wouldn't you know, I found something mighty interesting in the paper. Did you know that you can get a layaway plan at the 99 Cent ONLY store?? An offer Kmart brought back and made popular once again. Oh yes you can! Imagine racking up even more debt and fees while buying only the nicest crap items. 

Don't lie, you want to call that number, don't you?!

I can just imagine the conversations that go on before someone applies for the layaway plan.

(turn the hick on in your head. You know you got it in there.)

"Well, honey, I know you really want the ceramic poodle figurine and the 6 pack of high-waisted briefs, but I don't know if we can afford it right now. Wait, but looky here, they got themselves a layaway plan. Oooooooeeeeee, Becky Sue, we might just be able to even get you that 99 cent Intimate Apparel for tonight!"

Aaaannnd scene.

Think I am joking about the Intimate Apparel at the 99 Cent Only store? Think again. They were hyping up this sexy little number the same week that Mother's Day items were advertised. 

The Satori Lace Panties & Camilsole. Bow-chica-bowwow (source)

I really, REALLY hope they weren't suggesting it as a gift for dear ol' Mom. 

I'm proud to say "Only in America!"