You're Invited to a Gypsy Wedding

Sweet baby jeebus, just when I thought Reality TV couldn't get any trashier, funnier, or weirder (in other words, awesome-er), a new program comes out and exceeds all other reality television shows.

I have always been a fan of reality shows, not going to lie. And I am happy to know that there are other bloggyland friends out there that have the same obsession as I do (yes, HW, I'm talking to you! I feel like we could have a monster reality TV marathon...and it just might be the best day ever!). If I am going to sit down and spend my time watching TV, I want to be wildly entertained. I don't care to get learn-ned anything, hello, that is what stumbling around the internet is for. I want my mind to be gooped up and mushy as much as possible after watching this garbage.

So, back to this reality show that premiered last night. It's like the producers of the show reached into my mind and knew exactly what kind of filth I was looking for. Imagine, if you will, a huge cosmic clash between three already ridiculous reality programs: 'Little Miss Perfect', 'Bridezillas' and 'Jersey Shore'. Sounds too good to be true?! Well its no joke, this sh*t is real, yo. It's called "Big Fat Gypsy Weddings" and yes, you are welcome for me changing your life. :)

 Could you imagine?!

'Big Fat Gypsy Weddings' or BFGW is a new series on Channel 4 on British Sky. It follows the lives of young gypsy girls, or 'Travellers', which I am assuming is their P.C. term? From the moment a Traveller girl is born, she is expected to be thinking about her wedding. She dreams about her dress, bridesmaids, her wedding Caravan. Yep, just like those Pikey clans in the movie 'Snatch' the majority of these Travellers live in Caravans parked at camp sights. 

You must be thinking "Oh, that is kind of sad. Here these girls dream about their wedding and must have no money to make it a reality." But you'd be dead wrong. I have no idea where the money comes from to buy all the, hmmm let's see I'll be nice with this word, extravagant things needed for the wedding, but it somehow turns up. And for the girls' wedding dresses and bridesmaid dresses they don't spare a dime.

You would not believe the dresses. They showed ones the lit up, dresses that had the bride and grooms name written out in glitter, sheer corseted dresses with crotch-high slits, others that weighed as much as, if not more than, the bride herself. 

 

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Wow, just wow.

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These gowns are extravagant. They make any ol' Quinceañera look like a typical birthday party down at Chuck-E-Cheese.

While the Traveller  girls might be dreaming of their wedding their whole life, they don't have to wait too long to make their wishes come true. Most Traveller teens are married by the time they are 16 or 17 years old. They have never spent a night away from home, which results in many tears shed at the end of the wedding.

Take Josie, a Traveller girl who was featured in last night's episode. She is 16 years old and the oldest of 9 kids. She is more tanned than Pauly D on Jersey Shore, wears about the same amount of makeup as any pageant girl, and dresses similar to a street walker.  

But that's all about to change, because she has met the love of her life (shoot me NOW if I had married my 16 year old boyfriend). Josie dated her boyfriend for one month before he popped the question. Now engaged for 3 months, they are ready to get married. He is the ripe old age of 19, ya know.

Apparently the Travellers live by a high moral code. No sex before marriage, which I guess might account for the teen weddings. No Traveler girl can be seen out alone, she must always be with other girls. Oh, yeah, and the most moral thing in their code, an act of puppy-dog love called 'Grabbing'. In this ethical standard its totally cool to physically force a girl to make out with you. Yep, sounds like they are living the holy life!

During 'Grabbing', a boy is allowed and encouraged to physically pick up a girl that he likes, drag her to a dark corner, and hold her down and twist her arms until she gives into a kiss. God, romance is so sweet and innocent when you are a teen.

But, back to Josie's wedding. She described her bridesmaid dresses as "highlighter pink". And they were in fact that bright.  Her dress, which was not to be outdone by her attendants, weighed 5 stones (And for all my American friends, a stone is 14 pounds, so that makes it a 70 pound dress.) and had a thigh high cut out in the front, to 'give it that certain Spanish something". Just sluttin' the look up all together. 

Classic style of wedding dress!

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After the wedding, Josie is expected to be a stay at home wife, to cook and clean the caravan while her husband is out making the money. What else could she do though, she left school at age 11 to help around her own house.

In a society that most of us would think was outdated, male dominated and degrading to young women, the Travellers seem very proud of their lifestyle and 'customs' (even if those customs would be considered rape-like in most societies). 

 

Nooo, not over the top at all

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They let camera crews in to document their culture and rituals. I don't know if this will fair well for the Travelers.

Unfortunately, I don't think the show airs back home in the U.S., but if you ever get a chance to watch this show, you will not be disappointed.

Any program that opens with the announced warning of "Pink bridesmaids, extravagant dresses and strong language" is worth its weight in gold.

(want to check out a small preview of the show, click here for a quick clip. You'll be hooked!)