January 19, 2011

You're Invited to a Gypsy Wedding

Sweet baby jeebus, just when I thought Reality TV couldn't get any trashier, funnier, or weirder (in other words, awesome-er), a new program comes out and exceeds all other reality television shows.

I have always been a fan of reality shows, not going to lie. And I am happy to know that there are other bloggyland friends out there that have the same obsession as I do (yes, HW, I'm talking to you! I feel like we could have a monster reality TV marathon...and it just might be the best day ever!). If I am going to sit down and spend my time watching TV, I want to be wildly entertained. I don't care to get learn-ned anything, hello, that is what stumbling around the internet is for. I want my mind to be gooped up and mushy as much as possible after watching this garbage.

So, back to this reality show that premiered last night. It's like the producers of the show reached into my mind and knew exactly what kind of filth I was looking for. Imagine, if you will, a huge cosmic clash between three already ridiculous reality programs: 'Little Miss Perfect', 'Bridezillas' and 'Jersey Shore'. Sounds too good to be true?! Well its no joke, this sh*t is real, yo. It's called "Big Fat Gypsy Weddings" and yes, you are welcome for me changing your life. :)

 Could you imagine?!

'Big Fat Gypsy Weddings' or BFGW is a new series on Channel 4 on British Sky. It follows the lives of young gypsy girls, or 'Travellers', which I am assuming is their P.C. term? From the moment a Traveller girl is born, she is expected to be thinking about her wedding. She dreams about her dress, bridesmaids, her wedding Caravan. Yep, just like those Pikey clans in the movie 'Snatch' the majority of these Travellers live in Caravans parked at camp sights. 

You must be thinking "Oh, that is kind of sad. Here these girls dream about their wedding and must have no money to make it a reality." But you'd be dead wrong. I have no idea where the money comes from to buy all the, hmmm let's see I'll be nice with this word, extravagant things needed for the wedding, but it somehow turns up. And for the girls' wedding dresses and bridesmaid dresses they don't spare a dime.

You would not believe the dresses. They showed ones the lit up, dresses that had the bride and grooms name written out in glitter, sheer corseted dresses with crotch-high slits, others that weighed as much as, if not more than, the bride herself. 

Wow, just wow.

These gowns are extravagant. They make any ol' QuinceaƱera look like a typical birthday party down at Chuck-E-Cheese.

While the Traveller  girls might be dreaming of their wedding their whole life, they don't have to wait too long to make their wishes come true. Most Traveller teens are married by the time they are 16 or 17 years old. They have never spent a night away from home, which results in many tears shed at the end of the wedding.

Take Josie, a Traveller girl who was featured in last night's episode. She is 16 years old and the oldest of 9 kids. She is more tanned than Pauly D on Jersey Shore, wears about the same amount of makeup as any pageant girl, and dresses similar to a street walker.  

But that's all about to change, because she has met the love of her life (shoot me NOW if I had married my 16 year old boyfriend). Josie dated her boyfriend for one month before he popped the question. Now engaged for 3 months, they are ready to get married. He is the ripe old age of 19, ya know.

Apparently the Travellers live by a high moral code. No sex before marriage, which I guess might account for the teen weddings. No Traveler girl can be seen out alone, she must always be with other girls. Oh, yeah, and the most moral thing in their code, an act of puppy-dog love called 'Grabbing'. In this ethical standard its totally cool to physically force a girl to make out with you. Yep, sounds like they are living the holy life!

During 'Grabbing', a boy is allowed and encouraged to physically pick up a girl that he likes, drag her to a dark corner, and hold her down and twist her arms until she gives into a kiss. God, romance is so sweet and innocent when you are a teen.

But, back to Josie's wedding. She described her bridesmaid dresses as "highlighter pink". And they were in fact that bright.  Her dress, which was not to be outdone by her attendants, weighed 5 stones (And for all my American friends, a stone is 14 pounds, so that makes it a 70 pound dress.) and had a thigh high cut out in the front, to 'give it that certain Spanish something". Just sluttin' the look up all together. 

Classic style of wedding dress!

After the wedding, Josie is expected to be a stay at home wife, to cook and clean the caravan while her husband is out making the money. What else could she do though, she left school at age 11 to help around her own house.

In a society that most of us would think was outdated, male dominated and degrading to young women, the Travellers seem very proud of their lifestyle and 'customs' (even if those customs would be considered rape-like in most societies). 

Nooo, not over the top at all

They let camera crews in to document their culture and rituals. I don't know if this will fair well for the Travelers.

Unfortunately, I don't think the show airs back home in the U.S., but if you ever get a chance to watch this show, you will not be disappointed.

Any program that opens with the announced warning of "Pink bridesmaids, extravagant dresses and strong language" is worth its weight in gold.

(want to check out a small preview of the show, click here for a quick clip. You'll be hooked!)
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  1. I am going to watch this tonight as I couldn't last night, but I have seen a special they did a while ago and the dresses just blow me away. I don't know how they get through the day wearing those big things!!!!

    The series does look interesting and can't wait to watch it.

  2. WOW...never heard of this, but sadly SUPER interested :) THe glowing dress is fantastic!

  3. Wow...that's all I can say. I thought that glow dress was just awesome (and not in a good way) and then I saw the baby bridesmaid/flower girl (?) in the pink stroller-dress. I need to go find this show.

  4. I watched the clip....this should be mandatory watching for those moms of the poor kids in 'Toddlers & Tiaras'...This could be your child at her 16 year-old wedding if you don't stop waxing and spray-tanning your 2 year old!!!

    I watched another clip on youtube right after....I swear I saw Theresa from Real Housewives of New Jersey!!

  5. @Leetid - oh you will not be let down, enjoy!
    @allenaim - I am sure you could have a light-up dress ordered. Its faaancy!
    @No.7 - the baby stroller was too good not to include. Poor little one, she has no hope
    @HW - haha, you literally made me laugh out loud. I think Theresa from RHWNJ has Gypsy blood in her. So true!

  6. Hahahahahahaha I had that photo of the girl in the 2 piece trashy dress on my facebook when TJ and I got engaged. I need to look into Sky, the closest to trashy TV we have is The Girls Next Door and it's in German!!!

  7. @KY - come on, you know that is you in the photo, haha. Oh, and they mentioned the place that they ordered all the 'beautiful' gowns from in the program. I am sure they would be willing to ship to Germany for you and your upcoming nuptials! lol

  8. Yeeeehaw what great news - I will have to look into it, that dress is my DREAM wedding gown!! ;)

  9. Could someone explain why they are called travellers, when all we hear are villagers in uproar because Gypsies have moved onto a field and concreted it [without permits.]so they have a stable base for their vans.

    Sadly watchable, through splayed fingers.

  10. @Moannie - I had a sneaky suspicion when watching the show that the Gypsies were a bit of a menace to society. You're right, it might be entertaining to watch, but I am sure a living nightmare for those of ya'll that have to deal with it.
    @KY - can't wait for pics then! :)

  11. THEY'RE PORTABLE AMISH! These are the British version of a enclave society...They don't mix with others or allow their children to play with 'outsiders'.

    Wonder if they have an equivalent "rumspringa"?

    Saw an article about this show just today. Would love to have TV just so I could watch it.

  12. omg..:O who comes up with all these freaky shows?!

  13. You paint a great picture with your words. I'm not sure whether to laugh or cry! Wow.

  14. OH MY!! I'm going to have to see if we get this show here. I agree, when it comes to reality tv, the more ridiculous, the better!

  15. @Mollie - hey you're in the UK, I am sure they would let you join. But sorry, if you are over the age of 16, you have to be a grandma. Haha, and so true about them being amish-y
    @Mrs. K - one word answer: geniuses
    @Heather - thanks for stopping by and what a beautiful compliment! Glad I could paint this ridiculous picture for you.
    @CMD - if you agree with that, then you would be ALL over this!

  16. this is TOOO funny! I'm not much of a reality tv show person, but the fact that someone thought this would be a good show makes me wish it showed over here in the states!

    I am visiting from Travel Babbles Around the World Wednesday. If you would like to check out my blog, you can find me at http://nushkoboaiukli-chokvshweki.blogspot.com

  17. I also follow FTLOB, and saw your feature there as well!

  18. This is my kind of TV, girl! Thanks for sharing, I will now search high and low to find it online!

  19. Major kudos to you for taking on this subject! I tried so many times to blog about this gem of a show, but found myself "speechless" when it came to explaining to someone who hadnt seen it before. Have you seen this news: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1371857/Big-Fat-Gypsy-Weddings-star-Sam-Norton-reveals-pregnant.html

    Fingers crossed for another show! :)

  20. @Mal - so old, this is when we first met, just seeing this! lol
    @HW - me and you love us some trashy tv
    @Lady - the new comment. Isn't the show awesome. oh please please please say there will be a follow up show. I can only imagine seeing their child rearing skills.

  21. Oh my god I can't stop watching clips, and I can't believe this is for real.

    Did you see Josie's mom in this one? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eucwzzx7YTI&NR=1

    I have to find this on Dutch TV.

  22. My wife loves these shows too, I leave the room and disappear into the office when they are on. I can't stand the fact that the dregs of society (and I'm not just talking about MFGW) get treated like stars.

  23. I have not heard of this show...but, wow those dresses? Well no words! LOL

  24. I saw this show for the first time a few nights ago! (It's totally set to DVR from now on) It's the train wreck of all train wrecks! The little babies dancing like Beyonce, the "grabbing", the polishing of the trailer floors. . . all of it. I have plans to seek out travellers in the US, and then spy on them.

  25. I freaking love this show. Why is their taste so bad???? I need to know! :/

  26. Yes, I love that I am still getting comments on this show..and love that it came to the US!
    @Expat - Ok, going to watch right now...
    @Simon - my husband won't watch either! Dregs indeed!
    @Melody - you are probably better off without it, lol
    @Rachel - totally, you just can't look away!
    @Erin - I love bad tv, it is my addiction. So bad, so bad.

  27. I freaking love that show.

    But I'm disturbed by the receptions with hooch girlies being mauled by potential husbands. creepy.

  28. Lindsey....I freaking love this post. Like, for reals. Thanks for re-directing me to this post! It was good for another round of laughs! This is back from when I first started following, so it's nice to re-visit! (Sorry I'm just now making the rounds to all the posts you all gave me in my post last week!

    have a great rest of the week!

  29. Omigosh! I wish we had this show here. I, too, love reality TV, mostly because I find human behavior so fascinating. I know what you mean about fairing well...this is what they know, so they don't see how weird it seems to everyone else. Which is kind of sad, but when you invite cameras in, you don't always know the kind of reaction you are going to get...oh my!

  30. sssssssswwwwwwwwwwwwweeeeeeeeeeeettttttttttt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Whoomp, there it is!