Last Post in Texas

...well, for a while, anyhow. 

Tomorrow we are jumping on a plane and headed up to Canada!

Our Julys are spent up in Edmonton, visiting the hubs' family and him finishing up the off season training. I guess he should skate a few times in the summer.

I know, I know. You are excited for my trip, but sad that this means no more Texas Nad Watches or crappy 99 Cent Only Store newspaper ads for while. 

Well, aren't you a lucky duck, that is just what I have for you today!! And then I will lay off on the Truck Nutz pictures for a while. Unless I spot them in Canada. Those northern ones are a rare breed!

Without further ado, a NW2011 update:

Katie from Chicken Noodle Gravy sent me this goodie from Georgia the other day. Isn't she a sweetheart?!

(THANKS Katie!)

Oh yes, you're eyes are not tricking you. Those are two cowbells hanging off the back of that nice gentleman's truck. I say nice, because anyone who sports the Confederate Flag and a bumper that reads "Keep It Flying" must just be a polite young man. Yeah. Right. 

But I guess I shouldn't assume that it is always men driving these things. You can't really tell from this picture, but there was a mom and her two young daughters riding in this badboy. Nice nuts, ladies. 

Those shiny metal ones are popular!

Lovely, way to leave an impression on those little girls. Sorry for the blurry picture, I was driving...with my mom. Nice, huh?!

Ya'll want to hear the best compliment I have been getting from all of you readers?!? "I saw Truck Nutz the other day and thought of you!" haha, gets me every time. 

Although I might not have a NW2011 update for you anytime soon, keep those eyes peeled and that camera handy. You never know when a pair of Truck Testicles might just hop up on ya. 

And now, for the entertainment I found in the morning paper. You really can't beat this. 

Ya'll remember the 99 Cent Only Store back page ad from about a month ago?!?

What a dumb question, of course you do!

Well I seem to have come across the mother load of them all. See if you can spot what is wrong with this headline...

Maybe those ad writers need to double check just how many days there really are in one week.

So yeah, it is open 9 days a week. Good for you, 99 Cent Only Store. But you still won't let me have a full bikini. 

Ummmm, so you mean I can only pick one...top or bottom?!?! Oh geez, if I go with the bottom, then I will truly be European. But with the top, I can really make a splash. So confused! Thanks for only letting me have one end or the other, guys.

:)

Nope, never boring around here. And hope you are having an equally as entertaining Hump Day, bloggyland. 

Tomorrow, I have a short clip about why I really love Canada. And Friday, a very special Frackin' Friday all the way from down under. It's going to be great!

Didn't Want to Leave Ya Hanging

I just knew I was going to have the perfect post for today. It was going to be an easy one.

I didn't want to leave ya'll hanging from the 99 Cent Only store post on Monday, so a little follow up was needed.

I wanted a danged ceramic poodle figurine!

Sounds easy enough. Walk into a 99 Cent Only store. Ask where their priceless collectables are located. And bam, walk out with a treasure. You know, something to pass on to my kids.

Have you seen this dog?!

But noooo. I found every other animal figurine imaginable.

There were all kinds of dogs, except poodles, of course. About a million and one different figurines of German Shepherds. Just in case your actual dog wasn't barking enough at you, the ceramic spitting image would the remind you of its non-stop bark.

There were figurines of lions and tigers and elephants and cats and sheep and squirrels.

But no FREAKIN' poodles! And that was at three stores. See! You see my dedication I have. 

As I scoured up and down the aisles, the oh-so-flattering florescent lights burning my eyes, I did come upon a plethora of random and useless useful items.

Beautiful array of stuff...and yes, I took a picture in a 99 Cent Store!

Vuvuzelas - just in case you wanted to attend any sporting event, at which they are banned.

Mens Bikini Briefs - just in case you wanted to attend any sporting event, at which they are banned.

Knock off Disney Merchandise - because having the real Buzz Lightyear isn't cool enough.

More Prayer Candles than you could shake a stick at - for all you bad sinners out there.

A Play Axe for Kids - anyone out there hoping to raise a serial killer?

But no ceramic poodle figurines.

Although, I think my fictional heroine, Becky Sue, in the tragic, yet inspiring uplifting hick monologue would have probably gone for this baby, had she had known it was available.

Scary, yet simultaneously thought provoking....

Nothing says 99 Cent Layaway Plan necessity like a skull with a snake crawling out of it.

Is anyone special in your life having a birthday soon?? Consider your shopping done. This skull says any and everything you ever wanted.

PS - I was featured by Mallori in her Tell the World Tuesday series! You will have to check it out.

Aaannnddd, a NW 2011 (NAD WATCH for all you noobs) update coming soon. Some readers have taking up the popular sport of Nut Spotting (Yep, that is what I am officially calling it), and I have a few pictures to share.

If you have any photos of some Truck Testicles you would like to share (and that you hopefully didn't take by walking around to the back of your pick-up!), feel free to send those puppies in to: TexaGermaNadian (at) gmail (dot) com.

I'll of course credit your photo and share with my readers where you snapped the picture.

Heck, we all know that you and your blog are above showing pictures of nuts on it. I, for one, am not.

Happy Hump Day!

Not gonna to lie, it's my favorite store

In the last few weeks, I've mentioned a ton of things that I missed about being home.

There was my family and friends. The food. The beautiful sunny weather. The food. My kitty cat and the swimming pool. The food.

But I have failed to mention something that I really do long for everyday while we are abroad.

The local newspaper.

Call me old fashioned, but I would rather read the real, hard copy paper than anything that is written online. There is something about flipping through the leafy pages and having it all laid out in front of you.

Not to mention that it is my morning ritual. I wake up, have a cup of coffee, and read the most important section of the newspaper: The entertainment section. That of course includes the crossword and Jumble (which I kick ass at, in case you were doubting my mad skills) and - sometimes not so helpful - Hints from Heloise (is that just a Southern thing??) and can't forget about Dear Abby. All very helpful and useful information. Let's call is pre-coffee, light reading.

Sorry Inmagine, when I become rich and famous, I'll buy this print. Or just take it down. (source)

It is my wake up call and a chance to get my head on straight for the day. And everyone knows not to talk to me before I have done this, because they are likely to get their head bit off, or at the very least an evil stare.

I'm apparently Satan's spawn pre-coffee as well.

And yes, don't tell me anything like "Oh, well then wait til you have kids, they are up and ready to go before you are and all chippery and shiznit in the morning." I get it, and that is precisely why we don't have kids yet.

ANYWAYS, rambling. As I was enjoying the morning paper last week, I came across the weekly full-page ad for the 99 Cent Only store. I love perusing their 'selection' to see just how far 99 cents can take you these days.

And wouldn't you know, I found something mighty interesting in the paper. Did you know that you can get a layaway plan at the 99 Cent ONLY store?? An offer Kmart brought back and made popular once again. Oh yes you can! Imagine racking up even more debt and fees while buying only the nicest crap items. 

Don't lie, you want to call that number, don't you?!

I can just imagine the conversations that go on before someone applies for the layaway plan.

(turn the hick on in your head. You know you got it in there.)

"Well, honey, I know you really want the ceramic poodle figurine and the 6 pack of high-waisted briefs, but I don't know if we can afford it right now. Wait, but looky here, they got themselves a layaway plan. Oooooooeeeeee, Becky Sue, we might just be able to even get you that 99 cent Intimate Apparel for tonight!"

Aaaannnd scene.

Think I am joking about the Intimate Apparel at the 99 Cent Only store? Think again. They were hyping up this sexy little number the same week that Mother's Day items were advertised. 

The Satori Lace Panties & Camilsole. Bow-chica-bowwow (source)

I really, REALLY hope they weren't suggesting it as a gift for dear ol' Mom. 

I'm proud to say "Only in America!"