June 22, 2011

Gotta Get Me An Etsy Shop!

If I started this week with "The More You Know Monday", then yesterday should have been called "Truck Testes Tuesday".

Which, of course, leads to today..."WTF Wednesday"

Man, I could do this all week!

Once again, I came across Truck Nutz at the gym. What is it about these jacked guys that want everyone to know that their truck is a phallic symbol?! I mean, the hubs and I just roll up in a 10 year old Jetta, sans testes, and we are still confident about ourselves. 

Just praying that the owner of the truck would NOT walk out mid photo
Note, this one isn't from my great state, but it's fun Cajun neighbor.

Something about this pair got me thinking. They are kind of fancy and bling blinging, after all. 

Hey, maybe I should open up one of those Etsy shops! I mean, everyone has been saying how I need to import the Truck Nutz to other countries, when really, the opportunity to expand on this ingenious idea has been right in front of me the whole time.

I think I am ready to unveil my new million dollar idea.

Introducing, The Family Jewels.

Let me ask: Do you often find yourself jealous that your douchey man has Truck Nutz while your lobes are left out in the cold?? Feel like there are no real accessories out there for ladies that express how big of a douche you want to be too!?

Well worry no more. Get ready to have your world rocked with these babies!

I can see my reflection in those! (source)
Man, look at that bling!!!

And for a limited time only, available in every color of the rainbow, including acid washed teal. 

Flawless! (source)

Looking goooood!

For some reason, early 90s Glamor Shots felt necessary.

Come on, wouldn't you love to stumble upon an Etsy shop full of these?! At least they would be good for a laugh or two. Or a great gag gift.

Maybe one day my dream of opening a shop full of The Family Jewels will become a reality...


I have to admit, I felt bad for these people shown above. Here I am, ruining, I mean improving, their perfectly good Glamour Shot with these hanging monstrosities.

But just couldn't bring myself to put them on my own Glamour Shot-ish (really, Olen Mills). I'm already pushing the envelope with my parents by doing these NW2011 posts, never mind plastering Truck Nutz on a sweet, uncorrupted 5 year old me. 

The very least I can do is share my own personal hair teased, semi oil painted picture. You can imagine the earrings on it yourself. 

Man, if only I could volume like that now!

Yep, that really is me. 

You're welcome.
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  1. You had awesome hair! I *love* the Family Jewels! You just know that someone would only see the pretty colours and fancy sparkles, maybe think they were cherries, and give them as a gift...or worse, wear them!

  2. your humor and this post made me choke on my soda and hot fries!!!! (PS you were and still are a cutie!)

    i really dont know what to say in regards to truck testes anymore. i just dont get it, i never will...but one thing i REALLY don't get is glamour shots photos. just kidding...i totally had a set back in the day. mine were wearing the "red white and blue" all american outfit. i thought i was being original until everyone else had the same photo. kind of pissed me off, not gonna lie. i mean my parents paid like 100 dollars for these stupid, absurdly ugly photos of their 12 year old in hideous makeup (ok i had to beg them for like 3 christmases to get them done).

    i totally got off subject here. we were on truck testes right?

  3. i know i got to get me some "danglers" well at least some made of steel... then drop them to the floor and scream the ball dropped, the ball dropped. you got some great hair there, still very adorable...


  4. I think those Glamour Shots were pretty rad (yes I just used the word rad but with hair like that it is appropriate, no?) without the truck testes :) The iron balls were just icing on the cake!

  5. i just LOL'd at "the hubs and I just roll up in a 10 year old Jetta, sans testes, and we are still confident about ourselves."

  6. Hey, watch it now, you're getting a litle obsessed with those nuts. Once you start looking, you will see them everywhere!

    I am relieved you didn't photoshop a pair of those danglers to your 5 year old self, though, that just wouldn't have been right! ;-)


  7. Family Jewel Earrings.
    Glamour Shots.
    80's Hair.

    No wonder I come back here every day.
    Who would want to miss this?!

  8. Hahaha...Glamour shots and truck nuts...classiest post ever!

  9. @triGirl - I did, didn't I!? haha, thanks ;) See, I could fool people into wanting these, genius!
    @Megan - haha, oh sorry! Want to make you laugh, not have to give yourself the hiemlich, lol. There is nothing more to say about them, just leaves us all speechless. YES!! Ok, you know you have to post photos of those glamour shots now. I can just imagine them. Awesome!
    @iZombie - haha, that could work too. See, the possibilities are endless!
    @KT - perfect word for Glamour Shots, perfect! Iron balls icing on the cake. Perfect way to put it, haha
    @Ali - that is how we roll! haha, glad you liked :)
    @Paul - no joke, I am obsessed, and the hubs knows it, lol. I felt the same way. On strangers' photos ok. On me, not ok.
    @An Irish - haha, pretty much compiles all my favorite things in one place. I knew you would be pleased as well.
    @Heather - I try, I try, haha.

  10. Haven't seen hair like that since Falcon's Crest.

  11. HAHAHA!!! I would be willing to bet those would be a HUGE seller in the SkyMall magazine... Just sayin'...

  12. LOVE your glamour shot. That truck nut guy must not be very bright, he can't even park well. He probably can't color within the lines either. We're not actually getting a new bathroom, just new pipes. I like our bathroom, I just wish it freaking worked. :(

  13. Hahah!! Could you imagine?! It would be hilarious...you could even branch out into family jewel rings, after all what else says I love you? btw- that is some amazing hair!!

  14. I am cracking up, Lindsey. You totally have to do it!!!! Hilarious :D

  15. Umm...let's not and say you did?

  16. if i still had my glamour shots photo it would have already been posted. i have NO idea where they are LOL!

  17. I would indeed. In fact I'll promote you on my site bloggerdise if ya want. They'd be hot sellers.

  18. Oh my gosh I thought those earrings were real! SO FUNNY! You were such a cute little girl!

  19. @Tony - hahah, you know it!
    @Kassi - they so would, I didn't even consider that. I will contact them right away ;)
    @Jordan - well thanks! haha. I didn't even realize that he was parked so bad, thanks for pointing that out. And whoops! I thought ya'll were getting a whole new bathroom. But hey, just new pipes are great too!
    @Missy - ohh, have designer lines, all kinds of jewelry. Sadly there might actually be a market for these, haha
    @Iris - haha, ok. Deal.
    @Megan - aw man, disappointment :)
    @Copyboy - haha, these would be PERFECT for your site. That just speaks volumes to how awesome they would be, lol.
    @Shalyn - the first picture does look kind of real, doesn't it?! Well thanks :)

  20. I loooove the hair do. I must have missed that time when glam-shots like that were in style ;) I, unlike most, have not seen the truck nuts before, but hell, I would vote for the etsy shop! I am sure I'd find some to give them to!

  21. Now THAT is a million dollar idea. For realz, I would copyright or patent that or whatever, because someone will come along and steal it.

    Oh, and your hair rules. Amazing style! ;)

  22. Hahaha ... it says a lot for those 'glamour' shots that they're improved by your special earrings!!

    Can't wait to be able to start spotting them in all the wrong places downunder in OZ!!

  23. Gotta love those Glamour Shots; love 80's hair even more! I remember the top of my hair touching the roof of my Celica when I slid in!

    Love, love, love your nutziness lady!!


  24. Nice hair. Wow. I was sooooo disappointed you didn't give yourself some lovely earrings.
    I do double dog dare you to open a shop like that. *lol*

  25. Woah that is big hair!! Hey I'd visit your etsy shop and buy a pair of those monstrosities for my mother in law, she still lives in the 80s with Joan Collins and shoulder pads.

  26. @Rebecca - haha, thanks. I think we should bring them back, don't you?! Yeah, my first promised customer, lol
    @Katie - someone probably will....and I am maybe ok with that, haha. Thanks Katie, I can't even imagine how much moose is in there, lol
    @Red - that is what I like to think too, haha. YES! I am making a move to get them down there :)
    @Slidecutter - I will always heart 80s hair, it really is the best :) I used to have a Celica too! We were just meant to be :) That is some awesome hair touching the top though. I am jealous, lol.
    @Bernie - I know, I wussed out, haha. I might just have to, especially since I am not one to turn down a dare :)
    @Ryan - talk about volume, right?! Hahaha, now that is funny. She would love them then!

  27. Ok, so i was driving to work yesterday morning and all of a sudden i looked at the truck in front of me on the freeway and thought, "what the heck is that??" TRUCK NUTS! They were BLUE and attached off to the right side of the bumper. I got my phone out and went to take a picture but someone got in between us :(

  28. You will be rich selling nuts all over the world!! I can already see your new website in front of me www.buy-my-nuts.com or something. Unfortunately, marketing that will be a little tough since many will think it's porn :)

  29. I can't get over those earrings! :O xD

  30. THANK YOU MY DEAREST FRIEND for the most incredibly belly laugh I've had ALL WEEK!!!!!!!!!!!


Whoomp, there it is!