May 25, 2011

Didn't Want to Leave Ya Hanging

I just knew I was going to have the perfect post for today. It was going to be an easy one.

I didn't want to leave ya'll hanging from the 99 Cent Only store post on Monday, so a little follow up was needed.

I wanted a danged ceramic poodle figurine!

Sounds easy enough. Walk into a 99 Cent Only store. Ask where their priceless collectables are located. And bam, walk out with a treasure. You know, something to pass on to my kids.

Have you seen this dog?!

But noooo. I found every other animal figurine imaginable.

There were all kinds of dogs, except poodles, of course. About a million and one different figurines of German Shepherds. Just in case your actual dog wasn't barking enough at you, the ceramic spitting image would the remind you of its non-stop bark.

There were figurines of lions and tigers and elephants and cats and sheep and squirrels.

But no FREAKIN' poodles! And that was at three stores. See! You see my dedication I have. 

As I scoured up and down the aisles, the oh-so-flattering florescent lights burning my eyes, I did come upon a plethora of random and useless useful items.

Beautiful array of stuff...and yes, I took a picture in a 99 Cent Store!


Vuvuzelas - just in case you wanted to attend any sporting event, at which they are banned.
Mens Bikini Briefs - just in case you wanted to attend any sporting event, at which they are banned.
Knock off Disney Merchandise - because having the real Buzz Lightyear isn't cool enough.
More Prayer Candles than you could shake a stick at - for all you bad sinners out there.
A Play Axe for Kids - anyone out there hoping to raise a serial killer?

But no ceramic poodle figurines.

Although, I think my fictional heroine, Becky Sue, in the tragic, yet inspiring uplifting hick monologue would have probably gone for this baby, had she had known it was available.

Scary, yet simultaneously thought provoking....
Nothing says 99 Cent Layaway Plan necessity like a skull with a snake crawling out of it.

Is anyone special in your life having a birthday soon?? Consider your shopping done. This skull says any and everything you ever wanted.

PS - I was featured by Mallori in her Tell the World Tuesday series! You will have to check it out.



Aaannnddd, a NW 2011 (NAD WATCH for all you noobs) update coming soon. Some readers have taking up the popular sport of Nut Spotting (Yep, that is what I am officially calling it), and I have a few pictures to share.

If you have any photos of some Truck Testicles you would like to share (and that you hopefully didn't take by walking around to the back of your pick-up!), feel free to send those puppies in to: TexaGermaNadian (at) gmail (dot) com.

I'll of course credit your photo and share with my readers where you snapped the picture.

Heck, we all know that you and your blog are above showing pictures of nuts on it. I, for one, am not.

Happy Hump Day!
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38 comments:

  1. OMG! I so want that skull with the snake. I'm so jealous. I would use that at Halloween time. Its so kick ass. How could you be so focused on a damn poodle and leave that lovely behind. *shaking head in sorrow*

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  2. Man, you could have an entire porcelain zoo for only 12 bucks

    About 5 days ago driving home at ~8pm, i saw a black honda civic with a pair of chrome nuts, they were only like an inch from scraping the pavement. I was too in shock to take a picture :(

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  3. My husband would go crazy for those tacky Jesus candles. It's an ongoing struggle between us... he always wants to buy them, I always refuse to let him.

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  4. I have always wanted to play a Vuvuzela while wearing only bikini brief under wear. I might have to take a trip to a dollar store now.

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  5. So, I think what that skull says is: AAAAAIIIIIEEEEEEAAAARRRGGGGHHHH!!!
    I will definitely take up the NW 2011 cause!

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  6. LOL im speechless and dont even know what t o say to this post. I love the effort you put into finding a figurine poodle. and now everytime i walk into a store like this, you know figurine poodles will be at the forefront of my mind. LOL!

    but on a more serious note, that skull has to be mine.

    have a great day!!!!!!

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  7. @Bernie - aw man, sorry I dropped the ball on that one. But you are right, it would make a great Halloween prop. Although I am scared to see those people that use it year round, haha.
    @Colin - And I could have given them names and everything!!! haha. You dissappoint me Colin. Next time, have your camera handy. We are all counting on it :)
    @Meg O - well lookee here, they are only 99 cents. You can decorate the (hopeful) new house with them. Class. :)
    @Oilfield - haha, well maybe if those two are combined, they will let you in to a sporting event. Or just do it on your couch. Your family would love that!
    @Peace - totally, you know it!
    @TriGirl - ummm, exactly what I thought too ;) YES! Join the cause! haha

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  8. @Megan - maybe Poodle Watch can be like Nad Watch. Man, just so many things to do while back at home, haha. Thanks for keeping an eye out for me, you're too funny girl! Have a great day too!

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  9. Ugh OK seems to have a truckin testes problem, too. The best ones have some form of religious sticker on the window as well.

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  10. So....did you ask about the layaway plan?

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  11. Nad watch?! HAHAHAHA! PS I need that skull with the snake. Maybe you could cut the top off and serve dip out of it.

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  12. You're not above showing us the nuts and DANGGIT we heart you for it!

    P.S. Did they have any Shar-pei figurines??? I would buy them out... HA! (not kidding)

    P.P.S. have you ever known anyone who actually HAD one of those prayer candles in their house? They sell them everywhere - grocery stores, Swap Meets (which is nothing but a Flea Market where I come from... but I reckon the folks in Arizona are to good to have "Flea" in the name of anything. Pffft...) and obviously the 99 cent stores. But I've never seen anyone actually use/own one.

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  13. haha, although I am nowhere near above nadwatching as a recreational activity, there aren't really any up here! I'm so upset!I have to get my fix through you...

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  14. that scull figure is priceless!!! hahaha...

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  15. If I had a penny for every time I saw truck testicals I would be able to buy an ice cream cone. If I had a penny for every time I pointed and laughed...I would be a millionaire.

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  16. oh my gosh, my little kids are supposed to be napping and you've got me cracking up over here. If they wake up it's totally your fault!!!!!!!! XD Hahaha!

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  17. Play axe = Axe Cop. www.axecop.com. Go read episode one (the beginning) I promise it's amazing.

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  18. Your 99 cent store is so organised!Our £1 shpp is madness!! I must get in and get some pictures! Maybe I can find you a poodle?!When I get back from my hols shall we get a £1/99c link up?

    Looking forward to your next NW 2011!

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  19. I decided to find the beginning so you wouldn't have to search

    http://axecop.com/index.php/acepisodes/read/episode_1/

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  20. Poodles?!! At least you'll eventually find one. Me, I'll never find a guinea pig.

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  21. As a blogger, I sometimes giggle at what I find myself taking pictures of. At a recent fancy shmancy dinner, I took pictures of carrot balls.

    Funny, I didn't know carrots had...

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  22. Nut Spotting should be a little easier this weekend, with the holiday and all--I'll be on the lookout! :-)

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  23. HAHAHAHA - just saw some nads hanging from a hitch this past weekend. Wish I had my camera then. I've started taking my camera with me always now so if I see a "set" again I will send you a picture.lol

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  24. you went to 3 different stores??! wow, you really are dedicated! haha. I'll keep my eye out in Wisconsin for ya... although we don't have a .99 cent here. just the $1 store. Damn Midwest inflation...

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  25. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  26. Because I hate typos, here I go again:
    Okay... 1. Truck balls are rampant in Maine. I was disturbed a year ago, but I've been rendered immune. Not really, they're still repulsive and everytime I see them I want to trail the truck, wait 'til it parks then emasculate it. Is that wrong?
    2. What's with the prayer candles anyway? Why such a surplus? Have people stopped praying or did they simply over-estimate the number of sinners in 2010/11?

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  27. Wow! I can see why you miss your home country ...

    Tragically, the 'nad fad hasn't yet made it downunder to OZ - maybe I could start the craze!!! Or maybe I could award the skull to the first OZ 'nad nutter on Nutwatch?

    PS Remember that old song 'Nutwatch City Limits'?!?! Now there's a disturbing mental image ...

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  28. @Lauren - haha, they are spreading like wildfire! I would love to see them with religious stickers on it! Too funny!
    @An Irish - uggg, no! But I should have, lol
    @Andrea - oh girl, you don't even know! haha. Ohhh, now there is a great party idea!
    @Heather - haha, well thanks! They might have, can't remember. I will have to let you know! No, and that is a good point. They are everywhere, but I don't know anyone who has any. Hmmmm, I will also be on the lookout for that!
    @Meri - YES! Thanks for diving into the NW with me, lol. Maybe there will be a miracle and some will show up :)
    @Mrs K - haha, or 99 cents! Classy, right?!
    @Hannah - you are so lucky :) Next time, snap a picture. And then laugh! haha
    @Jordan - oh my gosh, I have no idea what you are talking about, but I cannot wait to check out that link!! What am I getting myself into?!
    @Missy - it is pretty organized. And I even went to the not-so-organized one. I really think we should do that, it would be hilarious!
    @Copyboy - awww, probably not. But I will keep an eye out for you! Guinea pigs, who knew?!
    @Ellen - Carrot Balls?!?! And did you share those? I want to see them, hahah
    @Jan - oh for sure! I didn't even think of that. Nothing says "I love America" like huge balls hanging from your truck, lol
    @Debbie - YES! Send that baby in if you get a chance to take a picture!! Too funny. But don't get in a wreck for NW 2011.
    @CMD - oh you know it! Well thanks for keeping an eye out, and you are right, danged inflation!
    @No 7 - haha, me too! WOW, all the way up there. Awesome. You should totally get a picture of them. And the candles, who knows. They must be so cheap to make. Haha, maybe that is the case!
    @Red - haha, hey, don't judge, lol. I think you should totally start a fad! I don't remember that song, but really, really intrigued. It could be the theme song for NW!

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  29. I used to collect those ceramic animals for the 99 cents store when I was little (Kindergarten through 2nd grade)...glad I outgrew that stage :)

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  30. Whoa my 99cent store looks nothing like that...it looks more like tornado alley with some unsavory characters smoking Marlboros out front! I fit in perfectly there by the way.

    If you're into giveaways at all, you should check out my very first giveaway - Popcorn4All popcorn pack. :)

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  31. I'm going to try commenting for the umpteenth time today...flucking Google is punishing me since I moved to WP...:((

    I wrote a post a while back about our "used to be" Dollar Store; how lucky are you to have the genuine thing nearby.

    Have missed yours and everyone's posts since my new space isn't finished yet; also lost a few followers who dumped my butt because I haven't posted a lot lately...sigh Maybe I'll send those Fair Weather Followers a Dollar Store Gift Card; sound like a plan?

    Keep good thoughts for me...puleeeze!

    Hugs,
    Patty

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  32. @KT - aw, don't lie, you still do! haha, just kidding :)
    @Jessi - this one was really organized, I loved it! And I cannot wait to check out your giveaway. Thanks for pointing it out!!
    @Slidecutter - ewww, how annoying. I am sorry it is doing that for you. I know what you mean, the Dollar General and those like that are no longer dollar stores. Why do they even call them that any more?! Well boo on them, you better believe we will always be there for you. I hope it all works out great for you!! And I will keep good thoughts for you :)

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  33. Those stores are like real life, when you look for something and you find thousands of stuff BUT the only thing that you are looking for.

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  34. Don't you hate going into a store (or three stores) to find the ONE THING you're looking for, and you can't find it? Apparently, poodle figurines aren't as plentiful as truck testicles and that really is a shame. I wish you luck on your expedition! You shall find your poodle when the time is right. :)

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  35. Oh how I've missed thee all week! No ceramic poochies-you'll find it at some five and dime in the middle of nowhereland. Becky Sue-bahaha!

    ...and why do I feel like a total perv because my eyes automaticaly diverted to nut spotting-you guys have GOT to be having so much fun on the roads!

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  36. I've yet to purchase an item from a dollar store (pound shop) that didn't break within 24 hours. I'll keep my eyes open for a poodle.

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  37. heh, I was just in a dollar store and seen the exact candles! hahah. I ended up buying some simple art supplies. :)

    lovely blog! I'll keep in touch!

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Whoomp, there it is!