January 5, 2011

If we celebrate Carnival, does that make us Carnies?

I can never quite understand why stores stock up months and months in advance with holiday decorations. It's like their calendar is permanently flipped 3 pages ahead of everyone else's.
Holy Crap! 4th of July is over, time for Chriiiiistmmmaaasss!

I thought that this overzealous behavior was something uniquely American, like apple pie, baseball, or International meddling. But no, sure enough, the Germans got wind of this "Christmas in July" fever, and they saw an opportunity to capitalize on unsuspecting shoppers.

But really, I shouldn't have been too surprised. The Deutschers immediately adapt or beat us to the punch with these kind of things. And now that I am thinking of it,  I guess they had Apple Strudel and International meddling way before America even picked up our first baseball mitt. Well played Germany, well played.

The day the stores were back up and running after the Christmas holidays - and no I don't mean Christmas and New Year's, I mean after the three Christmas days Germany has in a row - there wasn't a glimpse of St. Nick to be found. Ok, well yeah, if you looked at the bottom of the bargain bin you could find some broken chocolate Santas and chipped ornaments. But the area previously occupied by the sanctity and holiness of Christmas goodness had taken on a darker side. 

Not this kind of carnival???

Revealing costumes, colorful wigs, horrible fake mustaches and beards. Almost like Halloween, only with more of a Euro-trash flair. Yes, Carnival season is here, at least it is according to the stores. So, guess it is time for me to take down the ol' Weihnachtsbaum and put on my skimpiest and strangest costume. I mean, anything for a time aged tradition!

We have yet to see a true Swabia Carnival down here in the south. But from what I have gathered from the bit of Carnival we have seen further north, and from what stories we have heard, it is apparently a great, if not disturbing, party.

Yeah, that looks normal...
While the carnival season officially begins on January 6th (Epiphany/Three Kings Day), the real parties aren't cranked out until the Thursday before Ash Wednesday, this year on March 3rd. The day is called Schmutziger Donnerstag, which literally translates as Dirty Thursday - and could easily be a good name for the typical drunken Thursday night in any college town. But, I am lead to believe that like the translation of "Mardi Gras" it is meant as more of a Fat Thursday than dirty. 

In some German states this day is known as "The Women's Day" and the women get control of the city and craziness ensues. (Oh no, whatever are we to do with the WOMEN running the city!) Girls are allowed to kiss any and everyman that passes their way. I personally think a better title for the day would be "Herpes Simplex 1 Day". But you say tom-ay-to, I say to-mah-to. Egal.

Another familiar tradition down here in the south are these Schiachperchten. They are represented by people dressed in creepy masks to portray the dark spirits of wintertime. It just wouldn't be a carnival parade if you didn't scare the bejeezus out of little kids. Look at those two little girls' faces.

And you better believe I will be fully dressed up for Rosenmontag, which is on March 7th. Can't wait to post about this one!

 If the evil St. Nick doesn't scare you at Christmas, these creatures will do the trick!

I wonder if the Carnival here is anything like themed fraternity parties. Which would mean that I can dress up like anything or any character I want, as long as it has the word 'slutty' in front of it. I am thinking of throwing a real curve this year and going as a slutty Paris Hilton. It's a paradox, or oxymoron, or a hyperbole or something....
It's ok, its not like the Germans will get it anyway. 

*Flash back to Halloween '08 when the hubs and I went as Wayne and Garth. I think they thought we came as two homeless dudes.

Or, let's just take something completely wholesome and skank it up! Yeeeaaahhh! 
Incidentally, if you want, you can buy the costume here: Source
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  1. Herpes Simplex Carnival...haha that was priceless..lol!!

  2. Well hey, you aren't THAT far away, perhaps we can get together and relive our college Thirsty Thursdays??? hahaha

  3. Mrs. K - that would totally be my first concern on this so-called Women's Day! Gives me the willies just thinking about it!
    KY - hmmmm, very tempting. I'm only coming if we can still call them Dirty Thursday...or even better, combine the two: Dirsty Thursdays! And I think tomorrow I might be due for one, haha

  4. hahah.. this whole post cracked me up. sounds... interesting! :)

  5. What a terrific name TexaGermaNadian.

    Came over to thank you for visiting my Blog and have found yours to be very interesting. That is the wonderful thing about Blogland-we can sit at our computors and travel, peek into peoples homes and lives and get to know all the differences and similarities.
    And make new friends.

  6. @CMD - I thought this whole crazy carnival thing was a Europe wide thing, but I guess not. Maybe we will have to hide away in Finland for the crazy season!

    @Moannie - once again, you say it better than I ever could. I am still fairly new to the blogland, and looking forward to all the voyeurism, and yes, friendships that this adventure will bring. Thanks for the visit :)

  7. Thanks for visiting my blog page. I totally adored your page. I'm staying! LOL


  8. Okay I was born in San Antonio, and I am one quarter german. I just had to come by for a peek.
    Love your blog, and your wit.
    I will be stopping by again.

  9. The title of this is amazing... end of story!!!

  10. Those masks are so scary. They have those weird scary dolls too, that they hang out of windows and such. I saw a lot of them in Austria, actually. Anyway, I would have loved to see you two as Wayne and Garth. I really wanted to see Terese as that flamingo too - can't imagine her ever wearing a slutty Snow White costume.

  11. @HW- I remember you saying that about those weirdo 'fairy tale' dolls in Innsbruck, creee-peee! In a very old post, there is a picture of us as Wayne and Garth, we loved it, Germans were confused, haha. And no, I can't see Terese wanting to wear the Snow White costume, but she would look killer in it! haha :)

  12. ok my head is spinning from all the wacky stuff...not to mention at the hideous st nick

  13. Gah! I was like, how did I miss this post? Did I quit following Lindsay? Uh, no, this is Weekend Wander and she posted an old post just like you did. (In case you hadn't figured it out, the previous was a conversation in my head)

    I am having a good weekend, and I hope you have one better!

  14. Haha, I was feeling lazy, and since Carnival is this week/weekend, it felt appropriate. You are too funny :) I am glad you are having a good weekend!

  15. Holy cow this looks like an intense sort of carnival. Was it fun??? The 'slutty' Paris Hilton idea made me laugh out loud :)

  16. I want to go to a carnival!

    Yesterday, my son was trying to figure out if Easter came before St. Patrick's Day because the store we were in had him confused. They might as well just keep the holiday stuff up year round.

  17. @Rachel - carnival is this whole week, and the big party is on Monday. I shall report after that :)
    @Cake - haha, no kidding. The decorations really could be up year round. It is out of hand!

  18. "international meddling"..heh. Your post made me laugh A LOT. Oh those crazy Europeans ;)

  19. Loved it. We didn't get to womans day this year but plan to next year. We did the childrens parade yeasterday and had a blast.

  20. @TriGirl - Thanks! I am glad you liked. And yes, they know international meddling just as much as we do :)
    @Ms Sarah - I saw that online, I am glad yall had a fun time!!


Whoomp, there it is!