If we celebrate Carnival, does that make us Carnies?

I can never quite understand why stores stock up months and months in advance with holiday decorations. It's like their calendar is permanently flipped 3 pages ahead of everyone else's.

Holy Crap! 4th of July is over, time for Chriiiiistmmmaaasss!

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I thought that this overzealous behavior was something uniquely American, like apple pie, baseball, or International meddling. But no, sure enough, the Germans got wind of this "Christmas in July" fever, and they saw an opportunity to capitalize on unsuspecting shoppers.

But really, I shouldn't have been too surprised. The Deutschers immediately adapt or beat us to the punch with these kind of things. And now that I am thinking of it,  I guess they had Apple Strudel and International meddling way before America even picked up our first baseball mitt. Well played Germany, well played.

The day the stores were back up and running after the Christmas holidays - and no I don't mean Christmas and New Year's, I mean after the three Christmas days Germany has in a row - there wasn't a glimpse of St. Nick to be found. Ok, well yeah, if you looked at the bottom of the bargain bin you could find some broken chocolate Santas and chipped ornaments. But the area previously occupied by the sanctity and holiness of Christmas goodness had taken on a darker side. 

Not this kind of carnival???

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Revealing costumes, colorful wigs, horrible fake mustaches and beards. Almost like Halloween, only with more of a Euro-trash flair. Yes, Carnival season is here, at least it is according to the stores. So, guess it is time for me to take down the ol' Weihnachtsbaum and put on my skimpiest and strangest costume. I mean, anything for a time aged tradition!

We have yet to see a true Swabia Carnival down here in the south. But from what I have gathered from the bit of Carnival we have seen further north, and from what stories we have heard, it is apparently a great, if not disturbing, party.

 

Yeah, that looks normal...

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While the carnival season officially begins on January 6th (Epiphany/Three Kings Day), the real parties aren't cranked out until the Thursday before Ash Wednesday, this year on March 3rd. The day is called Schmutziger Donnerstag, which literally translates as Dirty Thursday - and could easily be a good name for the typical drunken Thursday night in any college town. But, I am lead to believe that like the translation of "Mardi Gras" it is meant as more of a Fat Thursday than dirty. 

In some German states this day is known as "The Women's Day" and the women get control of the city and craziness ensues. (Oh no, whatever are we to do with the WOMEN running the city!) Girls are allowed to kiss any and everyman that passes their way. I personally think a better title for the day would be "Herpes Simplex 1 Day". But you say tom-ay-to, I say to-mah-to. Egal.

Another familiar tradition down here in the south are these Schiachperchten. They are represented by people dressed in creepy masks to portray the dark spirits of wintertime. It just wouldn't be a carnival parade if you didn't scare the bejeezus out of little kids. Look at those two little girls' faces.

And you better believe I will be fully dressed up for Rosenmontag, which is on March 7th. Can't wait to post about this one!

 If the evil St. Nick doesn't scare you at Christmas, these creatures will do the trick!

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I wonder if the Carnival here is anything like themed fraternity parties. Which would mean that I can dress up like anything or any character I want, as long as it has the word 'slutty' in front of it. I am thinking of throwing a real curve this year and going as a slutty Paris Hilton. It's a paradox, or oxymoron, or a hyperbole or something....

It's ok, its not like the Germans will get it anyway. 

*Flash back to Halloween '08 when the hubs and I went as Wayne and Garth. I think they thought we came as two homeless dudes.

 

Or, let's just take something completely wholesome and skank it up! Yeeeaaahhh! 

Incidentally, if you want, you can buy the costume here: Source