Sprechen Sie QWERTY?

So, with zour internet being the waz that it is, I am currenlz stuck in an internet cafe writing this entrz. But reallz it's ok, because I wanted to show zou a bit of the frustration I have trzing to use a German computer. No, those aren't errors, at least not on accident. Zou see, I am tzping just as I regularilz would....but the kezboard is different. The Z and Y have switched places, which makes it quite difficult to form even a basic English sentence (this last one being the exception...frick). I guess QWERTY is another uniquelz North American/English speaking thing.

 Hey Derek, Sprechen Sie QWERTY?!

Zou would think that at least thez would do us a favor and replace the 'T' and 'Z', as in 'Zhe Germans are coming!'

And while I am on it, good luck easilz capitaliying (oh Scheiße, now the Y is replacing the Z as well) and finding the @ kez - I have found it before and it still took me about 5 minutes to get it in there. This was something that prevented us from logging into our email and facebook at all while we were in Rome two zears ago. I guess the Italians don't speak QWERTY either. And in the last sentence alone I think I managed to accidentallz tzpe everz szmbol besides the intended apostrophe (Ä, #, etc). Geeez, I can't even spell mz name right! Although, Lindsez might sound more like a tzpical German name than the regular spelling anzwazs.

Screen shot of me at the Internet Cafe

Source

(enough with that mess!)

But I guess all things considered, the keyboard difference really isn't that big a deal. It's just a slight inconvenience when I'm slumming it at the internet cafe. And if our computer breaks down (knock on wood, no really, do it for me now), we will just have to import it from some place where QWERTY is spoken.

But there is something else that I realized when I was learning German that really blew my mind. I don't know if I am that dopey and everyone else was aware of it, or if it's something that will drop a whammy on us all.

Are you ready for this?! The animals here make different 'sounds'. Yep, you read that right, different sounds in different parts of the world. Well....I am referring to the sounds that humans make to imitate them. A dog doesn't bark, no one has heard of a pig oinking, and a frog and a duck make the same sound. Changed my whole perspective on sh*t!

Like, are you serious, a dog says "Wau Wau"?!?! Is he crying? I am confused

  

 The rooster says "Kikeriki", which makes it sound like it should be in some Indonesian rain forest. But, "Cock-a-doodle-do" is really no better. And the people in my German course really got a kick out of me sharing that one with the class.

A pig "Grunz", not "Oink". I think I can live with that one.

But seriously, I am not OK with a Frog "Quack"ing! He is not a duck!

Can you imagine how it would sound if we used it in English?

Old MacDonald had a farm,

Ee i ee i oh!

And on that farm he had some dogs,

Ee i ee i oh!

With a wau-wau here....

Nope just doesn't work.