January 6, 2011

Sprechen Sie QWERTY?

So, with zour internet being the waz that it is, I am currenlz stuck in an internet cafe writing this entrz. But reallz it's ok, because I wanted to show zou a bit of the frustration I have trzing to use a German computer. No, those aren't errors, at least not on accident. Zou see, I am tzping just as I regularilz would....but the kezboard is different. The Z and Y have switched places, which makes it quite difficult to form even a basic English sentence (this last one being the exception...frick). I guess QWERTY is another uniquelz North American/English speaking thing.

 Hey Derek, Sprechen Sie QWERTY?!

Zou would think that at least thez would do us a favor and replace the 'T' and 'Z', as in 'Zhe Germans are coming!'

And while I am on it, good luck easilz capitaliying (oh Scheiße, now the Y is replacing the Z as well) and finding the @ kez - I have found it before and it still took me about 5 minutes to get it in there. This was something that prevented us from logging into our email and facebook at all while we were in Rome two zears ago. I guess the Italians don't speak QWERTY either. And in the last sentence alone I think I managed to accidentallz tzpe everz szmbol besides the intended apostrophe (Ä, #, etc). Geeez, I can't even spell mz name right! Although, Lindsez might sound more like a tzpical German name than the regular spelling anzwazs.

Screen shot of me at the Internet Cafe

(enough with that mess!)

But I guess all things considered, the keyboard difference really isn't that big a deal. It's just a slight inconvenience when I'm slumming it at the internet cafe. And if our computer breaks down (knock on wood, no really, do it for me now), we will just have to import it from some place where QWERTY is spoken.

But there is something else that I realized when I was learning German that really blew my mind. I don't know if I am that dopey and everyone else was aware of it, or if it's something that will drop a whammy on us all.

Are you ready for this?! The animals here make different 'sounds'. Yep, you read that right, different sounds in different parts of the world. Well....I am referring to the sounds that humans make to imitate them. A dog doesn't bark, no one has heard of a pig oinking, and a frog and a duck make the same sound. Changed my whole perspective on sh*t!

Like, are you serious, a dog says "Wau Wau"?!?! Is he crying? I am confused

 The rooster says "Kikeriki", which makes it sound like it should be in some Indonesian rain forest. But, "Cock-a-doodle-do" is really no better. And the people in my German course really got a kick out of me sharing that one with the class.
A pig "Grunz", not "Oink". I think I can live with that one.

But seriously, I am not OK with a Frog "Quack"ing! He is not a duck!

Can you imagine how it would sound if we used it in English?

Old MacDonald had a farm,
Ee i ee i oh!
And on that farm he had some dogs,
Ee i ee i oh!
With a wau-wau here....

Nope just doesn't work.
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  1. This post made me laugh - when we went to Paris a couple of months back I was having problems with my bank card (They put a hold on the money when I reserved our hotel online, but then there wasn't enough to cover the hotel when they tried to process it because the money was kept in holding and I only had about a hundred in excess over it)

    Anyways, as I am arguing with the woman that I KNOW there is freaking money on the card, I ask her if I can use the computer to check my statement.

    Yes, I had to pay 5 euros for 10 minutes, and yes, I locked myself out of my card account because I couldn't for the life of me figure out how to use the freaking French keyboard.

    Ohhh it's the little things.....Oii vey.

  2. I still managed to understand what you were writing considering some of the letters were wrong. You would like that everyone would use the same keyboard layout so it was universal!

  3. Hi, I love you blog! It's entertaining! I know exactly how you feel! I spent time in Bolivia and I just vetoed computers while I was there. The keyboard was too intense! Same with animals! Spanish dogs say guau guau.... I'm good with the classic woof haha. I'm trying to grow my little blog too :) so check mine out if you'd like!

  4. @KY - Uggg, how annoying. And nothing like that all happening while you are in Paris. I can only imagine the smug look on the lady's face after that all happened.

    @Leetid - totally right, I'm all for a Universal keyboard :)

    @Lisi - Thanks for the visit! I can't wait to have a better look at your blog too. And geez, between guau guau, wau wau, and woof woof, I don't know how they ever knew it was the same animal! Too funny, thanks for sharing

  5. What a funny post! I really thought I need a German translator on that one. HeHeHe


  6. I seriously doubt you were a boring college grad.

    I'm sort of in the same boat with the cultural differences in words... here, trunks of cars are called boots and the hoods are called bonnets. The word tires is spelled with a 'y' instead of an 'i'.

  7. Cute blog! Can't wait to read more...just added you in my google reader :)

  8. Well thanks Mollie! I love the title of your blog. We get British Sky down here, and boy-oh-boy. If I ever thought that Britain would be more normal than Germany (well, in my morphed USA standards of normal), I think I would be poorly mistaken. Looking forward to reading more on yours!

    And thanks again for the add PsyDet, your blog is so pretty and girly. Love it!

  9. Haha! I can totally relate. In Taiwan, dogs say "wong wong" and chickens say "goo goo."

    And as for the Qwerty keyboard, I went to the Internet cafe the other day to print something out. It wasn't a big deal because I had my flashdrive with me. Lucky too 'cause I was originally going to just e-mail it to myself. I couldn't log into my e-mail account because I couldn't figure out how to make the @ sign or any numbers. They were all on the right keys but there was other stuff there and the "shift" button didn't make it do what I wanted.


    Great blog. Thanks for following me and I'll definitely be following out. Oh and super cute dirndl. I'm making sure there's enough money in my budget that I can buy one for Oktoberfest this year. :)

  10. Haha, I once had a Spanish teacher who claimed that in Spanish speaking countries, cows still said "moo" but that it was pronounced "moe," like rhyming with "go."

    Love your blog!


Whoomp, there it is!