May 11, 2011

Now don't get testy...

You know what, it still really doesn't feel like we are home. At least not just yet.

Sure, we have had our fill of Mexican food. Taken advantage of the pool everyday. And we even went to an Astros game last night.

But something still feels like it is missing.

And I think I know what it is.

Truck Testicles.

Oh yeah, you read that right.

Or Bumper Nuts, Nutz for Trucks, Truck Balls, Big Boy Nuts. Take your pick.

Yep, that is the real deal there (source)
Ewww, it was gross just typing that. Sorry.

You see, they are apparently the macho accessory of choice around here. Or at least they used to be.

A few weeks back, Copyboy over at Not Worth Mentioning featured a set of these bad boys. He is always highlighting really useful and purposeful products :)

But it got me thinking. I guess these Bumper Balls were not a nationwide thing. He was surprised to see them. But I was not. Sadly, they are usually abundant in Texas. But like I've said, I have yet to find a decent pair hanging of the back of a truck since we have been back.

It is disappointing actually!

Whatever happened to guy that not only needed to show how un-endowed he was by having a huge, jacked up truck, but also really wanted to drive in the message that the massive vehicle he drove really did represent his you-know-what by hanging some lifelike testicles off the back hitch??

Just in case you were wondering, THEY REPRESENT HIS BALLS. Oh, and he has steel nuts. (source)
What has the world come to when people start removing man-junk from their trucks?? Certainly not a place I want to raise children


So for the next few months we are in Texas, I dedicate my time on the road to "Nad Watch, 2011". I am on patrol. There has to be some white trash, d-bag totally awesome, super sweet motorist with these puppies hanging off the back.

Boy, do I love Texas!

For you, my readers, I am doing this for you!

I am also doing THIS for you! Have you entered my German Goodies Giveaway yet?? Well what are you waiting for!?
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  1. LOL i cant stop laughing at this!!!!!!! I live in Ohio and I totally saw a pair of truck testicles the other day. I seriously thought they went out of "style" like two years ago...but NOOO. I was actually in a Wal-Mart parking lot...I'm not even sure why I'm acting surprised LOL.

  2. This is tack-tastic!! Nad Watch-oh sweet mama jesus this made my entire morning that much more enjoyable! You know what you have to do now, find a mesh muscle top shirt...from Wally World and when you do find a truck on the NW2011 place the shirt on the antenna of the truck/car whatevs and leave a wrapper note that says-You're Welcome :) Tack-o-licious

  3. Come to Illinois, we, sigh, have them here.

    Things that make me go "ew..."

  4. HAHAHA! I actually do kinda miss them too, since moving away from Texas.. ;)
    Wouldn't that make an awesome giveaway?! Candy and balls. Nice!
    xoxo from good old Germany,
    Vanessa @ {nifty thrifty things}

  5. there is junk everywhere, sad.
    that's it, just sad... here in the winters of chicago they would be blue... wait that is just as sad...

  6. You're going to have to drive to Virginia to see some, I guess. Our local news ran a feature on them last year. I'm firm in my belief there is an inverse relationship between the size of the equipment hanging between the wheels of a truck and of the equipment hanging between the legs of an owner.

    By the way, did I ever tell you I was awarded a pair of brass balls after a negotiation? They came in a beautiful mahogany box engraved with the words, "Lipstick, business cards, let'go!" I said this on the way to the meeting. A co-worker from a former job asked "Didn't they know you already had a pair?"

  7. What immediately jumps to mind is that they must have been inspired by that expression…'suck the chrome off a trailer hitch'. Am I right?

  8. HAAA HAA, don't get "testy" ... I get it : ) Yeah, those are all over California too, random, stupid, and complete douchebaggery at it's finest!

  9. Haven't seen any of these around, but maybe I haven't been paying attention. I'll keep a watch out for you and report back if I see any.

  10. I've always said my ovaries drag and spark.

  11. Those things are just dumb. Although I wish I would have come up with the idea for them so I could get rich and retire.

  12. @Megan – oh my gosh, how did I not think of that!?! WalMart parking lot. I am sure to find some there!! Haha, I will be staking out the place
    @Morgan – oh that is the perfect way to describe it! I feel like I should at least have weekly updates. Maybe even make a little tune or intro to it. Ala corny news productions. I think that is a GENIUS idea. You may be on to something!
    @Ellen – haha, that should have been the title to the post! Lol
    @Nifty – OHHHH, maybe that will be my going away from Texas giveaway. Haha, can you imagine me buying those in a store/??
    @iZombie – that is for sure. HAHAHA, that might be the funniest thing I have heard all morning!
    @Miko – YES! I love that they have them there too. Couldn't agree with you more. You know those guys are compensating for something. Are you serious! That is awesome. You have to post on those!
    @XLMIC – hahaha, oh gosh, that is horrible. And funny!
    @An Irish – get it, get it?!? lol. Nice to know that it just isn't Texas with the affinity for these things. Dbags unite! Lol
    @A Tale – you have to keep an eye out. But be careful, might surprise you enough to make you swerve off the road :)
    @Mollie – haha, OK million dollar idea. Fallopian Tubes to hang off the back of women's cars. That would show them!
    @Oilfield – so dumb, but good enough for a blog post, lol ;) I think my idea above might just get you there!

  13. Hahaha they totally do that around here with their trucks too. I thought they were over compensating with the big jacked up trucks! But add the hanging balls and I think someone is trying too hard to convince!

  14. Totally disgusting and I bet none of those guys has a girl or wife, cause if they did they wouldn't have nuts hanging from the back of their truck!! I sometimes wonder what they were thinking...Oh pardon me they probably weren't thinking, duh!

  15. hahahaha- I have never seen these. But I suppose I don't get out of the city much, and this does seem to be an exclusively "country" phenomenon with the big trucks. I can't wait to see what you find on Nadwatch!

  16. Title of this post = best thing ever! I have seen some truck nuts before and they scarily looked like the real deal with fake hair and that is gross ;)

  17. I saw some just the other day. They were like the first picture only in a chrome finish to match the lifted F 350 they were on. Idaho and Texas are basically the same place, right?

  18. Wow! That is totally mind blowing. I had no idea how wrong I was. BALLS!! Hey, thanks for the shout out!

  19. Oh my goodness!!! What a sight hahaha!!!! I am sending LOTS of luck to you to keep that watch up for the rest of your time home haha!

  20. Haha! I've seen those :) The worst are the "blue balls". Just kind of sad and not as funny as the owner probably thinks...

  21. HAha! Unfortunately, I have seen plenty of those lately.

  22. I have a pair on my ford focus


  23. Oh. My. Word.

    I have not encountered this wondrous tailgate accessory yet...

  24. OMG. Just ... OMG. I see a lot of those here too. Men and their ... toys.

  25. Here in NY, sadly, the truck balls are generally larger than the set attached to the truck driver.

    I mean, really! I drive a truck..haven't found it necessary to hang a set of boobs from my trailer hitch!

    It's bad enough men have to check and see if their "toys" are still attached all the time but hanging giant rubber nads out for's either wishful thinking or acute narcissism.

  26. @Carissa – Yes!!! I keep saying, love that the tackiness maybe really is nationwide! Lol. Oh, and we were soooo convinced, weren't we?!
    @Wendy – haha, no joke! That is probably true for all of them. Too funny!
    @Meri – Nad Watch!! I said it about 40 times today. Sadly no discoveries yet. Need to search more. Maybe I should go more out in the country, good idea!
    @Andrea – sad and funny at the same time, lol
    @KT – haha, well thanks. Had to do something that was a little NSFW. Ewww, you successful just out grossed me. So nasty....and vainy! Haha ewww
    @Copyboy – Haha, you weren't wrong. Just not privaledged enough to live in such a fine area where people sport these. No prob, thanks for letting my 'borrow' your idea a bit :)
    @Jordan – hey, maybe everyone can be on Nad Watch!! Bloggyland unite, lol. Ewww, chrome. Yep, sounds like the same place to me. I guess there are douchers everywhere!
    @Missy – sorry, that image might be burned into your brain now, haha. Thanks! Obviously doing really productive things at home ;)
    @Sabrina – did not know they made them in blue too! Haha, too funny. Really, though, what does the owner think?!
    @Heather – man, lucky!! Haha, I have yet to spot some :(
    @Colin – now that would be awesome! I would actually commend you for doing that, haha.
    @Alex – perfect way to describe the sight of these bad boys
    @HW – hey!!! It made it all the way up there too! They must be popular. Don't lie, you have a pair on your car :)

  27. @Slidecutter - you might not have felt the need, but you should totally hang boobs out the side of the car. Actually, one on each side! haha, million dollar idea again. I am going to lean to wishful thinking, lol

  28. This looks like something I would see in the south! hahahahaha - very funny.

  29. Hehehe...i admit i haven't seen as many of those since i left the ATX. I think you will find them now that you're looking. It's like Where's Waldo :)

  30. I saw these a bit before Christmas hanging off the back of a particularly beat-up truck. I blogged about it, too, because, well, truck nutz!

    I'll be watching. Can't wait to see how many you count.

  31. I wish I could say this is the first time I've seen Truck Nuts, but alas....I live in Alabama. ;)

  32. I haven't seen that before, that is so sad, some people have to taste at all.

  33. this cracked me up! We used to see it in sc too. Don't understand it! Great German giveaway. My new fav is ritter bourbon vanilla. So yummy.

  34. They have those here in Montana too. I think guys are trying to overcompensate for something. I could be wrong.

    Bring a pair back and start a trend in Germany.

  35. @Debbie - yes, unfortunately ;)
    @TriGirl - oh my gosh, so like Where's Waldo!! I have to spot some now, lol
    @Nicole - haha, a popular blog topic! LOVE it, too funny. I will have to go check out your December post as well.
    @Jenn - haha, oh geez. They are spreading like a bad disease!
    @Patti - Lol, high class taste you mean!! I am sure they aren't too popular up in Canada. Maybe there is a good niche you can market to :)
    @Ms Sarah - Nice! Me neither. Well thanks! I love all the Ritter chocolate, but don't know if i have had that flavor. On my to do when we get back :)
    @Bernie - it seems that they are concentrated in rural/country areas. Lucky them, right?? I think that is also a million dollar idea. Haha, they would have no idea what to do with them there!

  36. haha..hilarious!!! Maybe something to hang on our

  37. I love reading the comments, because I thought I was the only one who never caught what they were. (just goes to show you how uneducated I am in this area) But, I kept thinking they were for an actual use of some kind for towing!The shape always made me feel like I was the one with a "dirty mind". LOLRO

  38. GOD, I HATE those things. To me, it just screams "I'm a douchebag!" LOL

  39. Christmas gift for my dad all picked out.. thanks for the tip ;)


  41. You see these all over Georgia, too. A sad state of affairs...

    I'll be looking for to Nad Watch...HA!

    Oh, and by the way, I have to agree with you about the jacked-up truck compensating for the size of the guy's...package. Which means there must be A LOT of tiny men (if you know what I mean) in the state of Georgia, because there are a lot of jacked up trucks. Which is why I married a man from California who drives a car.

  42. lmao! My hubs and I always get a good laugh when we see a truck sporting nads - just looks so riDICKulous

  43. @Katie - haha, nice! And so true, they are definitely compensating. Boys, what are they doing?!
    @Adventures - haha, I love them too. In a funny way, of course. And riDICKulous might just be the best thing I have heard all day!


Whoomp, there it is!