Wacky World of Souvenirs

So even though we aren't scheduled to head back to the U.S. until March, and fingers crossed hopefully even later than that, I like to start thinking about what fun things and mementos I want to take from each place we've lived. I have beer steins and glasses from Germany, seemed like a no brainer. And we will definitely be sporting the dirndl and lederhosen for as long as I can tell.

But what to bring back from Finland?? As mentioned in my last post, gotta pick me up some Marimekko goods and make a keepsake or two fashioned out of their wildly bold fabrics. I wouldn't mind some kind of fur, maybe a small bedside rug. Don't hate me 'cause I don't hate fur. I do hate the mistreatment of animals though. That's obviously a subject for another time.

When I googled "Finnish Souvenirs" a few weird results came back. And it got me thinking...what are some of the weirdest souvenirs out there?? I'm not talking about those cheapy, generic souvenirs that might as well have been made in China, not Mexico. Although I do love all those naughty ones out there. Ah, nothing says 'Hey look everyone! I got wasted south of the border.' like a this little treat from Cancun. Kid friendly, too!

Sorry, buying something in 2001 does NOT make it vintage. You can purchase it here: eBay

Not.

So I did a little internet researching, because I can't really afford to travel around the world in search of tacky souvenirs. Although, wouldn't that make a great show?! I would be perfect for that one. Travel Channel, call me!

Here are the weirdest of the weird, or maybe just what you wouldn't expect, authentic souvenirs from around the world that I happened upon


This is a long one, but you are going to love it!

I'll start locally. When I googled Finnish Souvenirs, classics like glass products, such as Iittala and Arabia, and reindeer products popped up. But so did a company called Fiskars. They make scissors. And the website was trying to convince me that I should bring back scissors to all my friends and become the coolest kid in school. I don't know about you, but if some one went somewhere exotic and brought back some scissors, I might be pretty disappointed.

Scissors make a good weapon when you are mad at someone for giving you scissors (source)

Ever heard of Cheburashka?? Nope, well then you have obviously never been to Russia. But with those crazy visa restrictions to get in AND TO GET OUT (no really, have to have a visa to leave, scary), I don't blame ya. This adorably fur-matted creature was created in 1969 and is basically the Soviet Mickey Mouse. But at least if you brought back at Cheburashka figurine or doll, it might have some value. Avid collectors search worldwide for rare and unique dolls.

I kind of love him (source)

Speaking of adorable, who doesn't love Guinea Pigs?! I just love their big ol' faces and eyes. So cute! Apparently Peruvians are pretty fond of the little guys too. That is, once they have been deep fried and are served with french fries.  

Warning, you can't 'undo' the next photo. 

Wow. (source)

I'm sorry I'm not sorry. Relive the tale of you chowing down on one of America's favorite pets by bringing home a stuffed Guinea Pig for your family to enjoy for years. Or until the pelt rots and all the hair falls off. "Our pet's heads are falling off!"

Pretty bird, pretty pretty bird. (source)

Oh art lovers, how you love roaming the world in search of those awe-inspiring masterpieces. Rome is surely at the top of any art enthusiasts list. And while you are there, why not pick up a priceless work of art. After all, it looks great in your pants. When we went to Rome a few years back, these were just becoming all the rage. So tacky....yet the hubs may or may not have a pair. Is this NSFW?? Sorry.

Guess what famous Michelangelo statue's naughty bits are under there! (source)

Ok, the next one comes from Beijing and does NOT involve killing or eating any beloved animal. When you think of China, you think of the giant panda. While those dang-ged trade restrictions have you backed into a corner when trying to export a live Panda, they are loosening up on the restraints they have on shipping Panda Poop. Yep. Panda Poop. A breeding base for pandas in China is turning dung into a for-profit business by shaping the excrement of that adorable creature and turning it into odor-free souvenirs. Who doesn't want a bookmark or a door stop or even a panda figurine made from poop!?!?

Man, that souvenir looks like shit! (hahahah, I am laughing so hard at my own jokes) (source)

I'll say it again. Panda Poop.

Just had to make sure we were clear on what we are talking about here. You can further read about the process here.


While you are in Asia, why not hop on down to Cebu in the Philippines. Not only is the town known for its generous and beautiful people, but also for purses that are able to breath in both water and air. For some reason or another, a popular item here is the frog purse. Just imagine how styling you could be with one of these at the club! Ladies, you know you want one. Dried out frog carcasses with zippers for mouths. Isn't that like the exact definitely of haute couture?! No?

'OH I just can't find anything in this dang purse' (source)

While this next souvenir was intended to do a world of good, it can seriously be a danger to your health. After the tremendous volcano eruption on Mount Marapi, Indonesia, volunteers and activist began collecting the remaining ash, bottling it, and selling it worldwide to raise money for those affected by the volcano. Good plan, right?! That is, until you read the warning label on the bottles. "Warning! This ash, contains hazardous material such as silica which is very sharp which can puncture the lung tissue." Yeah, I'm not exactly sure I want to remember my trip to Indonesia by spending a few days in the ICU.

Um. No. (source)

A friend of mine actually brought this next one back from Mongolia to share with her 'friends'. I quote the term loosely, because we weren't that good of friends after she tricked me with "this really yummy, awesome Mongolian candy."  :) It was Aaruul, a curdled milk, dehydrated and thoroughly dried in the air and hot sun that is beyond popular in Mongolian culture. It basically tastes like you found some old cheese in a hot, garage refrigerator, and even though it was 100 degrees outside and the cheese was months past its expiration date, you decided to put it in your mouth. Super yummy.

Oh god kid, don't do it. DON'T DO IT! (source)

And last, but certainly not least, a trip to the outback wouldn't be complete without some kangaroo sightings. And now you can bring back a piece of that adventure AND get to those hard to reach places. That's right, a kangaroo back-scratcher. Those tiny little claws get right in there to relieve the itch.

It'll get those itches, mate! (source)

Ew.

I know some of ya'll have been to these places, and you can argue that they aren't the most popular souvenir, you can argue their authenticity, but you can't argue their ability to make one awesome blog post, right!?

:)


Have any to contribute? Ever seen, or worse, received, a really bad and tacky souvenir?!