Thanks for reminding me I still live in Finland

So, happy Friday!

But not happy Frackin' Friday.

I can almost hear your collective sighs of disappointment.

(for your noobs, here is what Frackin' Friday used to be all about...)

You see, I have turned into one of those Americans. Those semi-fabled, snooty, 'I don't speak your language so you better learn English quick' kinda gals. And I hate it.


Probably doesn't help that I wear this shirt everyday...

No, I don't. And DON'T EVEN get me started on the re-tards that say this biznaz

.

But dang it, Finnish is hard. And without some dirt cheap community center program available here to teach me Finnish (Volkshochschule, best thing ever in Germany!), I am S.O.L. So, I study some online. I have an audio learning tool for the basics that I listen to when I run. And for some reason, all the Finns at the gym think I am weird for saying 'Basic Expressions', 'Ordering off the Menu' and 'Making Friends' while on the treadmill. No really, I say repeat the sentences out loud.

Kaamea ilma!

Because I have a feeling I will need to know how to say "What awful weather" in Finnish.

Anyways, when I start feeling pretty confident in a phrase, and I go to the store/restaurant to use it, I am answered in English 99.9% of the time. Shit, you guys, I am trying to learn your language, play along!

And when you ask someone "Sorry, but do you speak English?", they either answer "Yes, of course." Or "A little."

But no, they don't say "A little" like they only know a little. It is more on the lines of "Good day, ma'am. And what a fine day it is. My English is somewhat insufficient these days. I am completely embarrassed. But if you could be a little patient with my grammar and syntax, it would be much appreciated".

Not even close to "A little".

Are you feeling sorry for me yet?

:)

Sooooo, because I don't know Finnish and, sadly, don't know how much I am going to really learn, other than the basics, I have to start a new feature here. Something to replace Frackin' Fridays for the time being.

Once a week I am going to find something to remind myself that I am, in fact, living my life in a foreign country.

Let's call it: Things That Remind Me I Am Still in a Foreign Country. That's a working title.

You might be thinking, Ok Texa, seriously? You have to be reminded you are in Finland? Well, some of the times, yes! This is our life here. This is our day-to-day. And it starts to just feel normal after a while.

So, what kind of things am I talking about?

Well, it could be that 90 year old lady rocking the leopard tights. The funny description on a menu (we all know about that one now). Or even things that I find around the house.


Like this.

Things That Remind Me I Am Still in a Foreign Country: Number One

The bidet in my, and in EVERY, bathroom in this country.

It is that baby there, just hanging over the toilet. We don't use it, and we don't usually leave it there. Because it would just hang out there with all it's grossness OVER OUR TOOTHBRUSHES! Gag gag gag. Seriously, though, I don't even like touching it. It creeps me out.

Oh, fine westerners who might be clueless on how to use it, I of course have a picture showing how to correctly use a Finnish bidet.

But, because of the ridiculousness of the picture, it's seriously just a pube short of NSFW, I will link it out. But you really, really have to check this picture out.

So we usually don't even touch it and just leave it it's holder that is in the shower. Because the shower is right there as well.

See that drain, that's our shower. No elbow room in this joint. Wait, no doors or shower basin in this joint either. That is somewhat typically Europe for ya. We make due, though. But that should totally count as number two of things that remind me I am still in Europe. Small showers.

Now, if you will excuse me, I have to go remove the bidet so it doesn't drip on my toothbrush (try to not physically gag while reading that sentence, I dare ya) and then I'm off to soak my hands in bleach for the remainder of the day.

:)

Have a great start to the weekend, you non-bum washers, you.