January 17, 2011

A Knight's Tale

Friday night was a rare one. The guys usually have one day off  a week, and it is hardly ever, if never, on the weekend. But because of the odd number of teams in the league, the hubs had a spielfrei on Friday and we decided to take advantage of it.

To be able to 'go out' during hockey season is so weird. In this league anyway, the majority of the games are held on Friday and Sunday with a few Tuesdays scattered here and there. So when most people are planning what they will be doing on the weekends, we usually plan if we are going to do something late Sunday night or all day Monday. Events at bars, weekend concerts and the such are typically off limits because of the game schedule.

But, like I said, we had a rare Friday night off. And we couldn't just sit around and not do anything, right? That is where the Ritter Keller comes in. A medieval themed restaurant! How corny and cheesy and awesome does that all sound at once. 

I am no stranger to these medieval shows, we took a class trip my junior year of high school to Medieval Times in Dallas, TX. There they had a big horse show, jousting, knights and a king and queen. Let me tell you, those people were working hard for their minimum wage; they never broke character! And of course I was chosen at the end of the show as the "Queen of Love and Beauty" and got to go up on stage. So yes, I am familiar with how these shows work back home. 

No, not me, but how awkward and creepster is the picture?!

So this Ritter Mahl, or Knights Meal, was really fun in its own way. They had a program in English, but since there were only 6 of us English speakers there that night out of about 100 people, it ended up being komplett auf Deutsch. I understood ok, but then again, we didn't really study too many Medieval terms in my German class. Go figure.

The Ritter Saal. Really pretty cool!

Don't get me wrong, it was a great time with the other North American couples. I don't think we could go anywhere and not have a good time (we are always the loudest in the restaurant, laughing it up. Typisch Amerikanisch). But there were some things that would only work in Germany. Not that they are bad or wrong, its just that if a restaurant did some of these things back in America, I would definitely expect some of the people involved in the 'jokes' to have their feelings hurt or might possibly even take legal action.

For instance. At one point in the meal, they made all the bald men stand up and singled them out with some German joke, which I did not understand. Only in Germany. 

The presenter of the whole meal, who really did an excellent job, then picked two people to taste the food to make sure it wasn't poisonous. He chose the biggest and fattest guy in the room, because he obviously knew a lot about food. Their words, not mine. Only in Germany. And then he choose the scrawniest guy at the dinner. They had to taste test several items, a Brussel Sprout being the last of the group. The presenter then bent the guys over, and with their bums sticking up and out in the air, he tested (read: 'smelled) for the "Breath of Death" - no joke, what it was called in our program - to see if they guys had been poisoned by the food. Only in Germany.

What is going on in the photo?!

There was a live fire breather/swallower. He choose to spit huge ball of fire right over our table. He was actually pretty good, but we are lucky to still have eyebrows...seriously. Only in Germany.
Check out that belly. Think he was eating more than just fire!

When walking into the Knights Hall, you were forced to wash your hands in a trough full of warm water and rose petals to cleanse your hands and soul. The hubs called it the E-Coli Bucket. Neat idea, but yuck. Only in Germany.

They also showed the women how to properly rub your man's belly when he was too full. They choose two complete strangers to display how it is supposed to be done. Which, I might add, looked pretty sensual. Only in Germany.

And to finish off the meal, you got Snus Snus shot up into your nose. Think I am kidding? Check out the picture below. Only in Germany. (Disclaimer - Snus is ground up tobacco made for snuffing, nothing worse!)

First, check out the snus flying. Then check out that awesome beard!

But nonetheless, the food was excellent! They even brought it out on a huge plate topped with a flaming firework. Again, probably only in Germany.

 But I will say the presentation was great!

And here is the after picture. We did some pretty good damage to our massive platter. 

So greasy and sooooo good

Our server was so funny, and the whole program was a really neat experience. And of course, the company couldn't have been better or more fun.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot. Everyone wore these funny little knight bibs because it was a pretty messy meal. The hubs choose to wear his in style. With no shirt underneath. Tucked in.

Never a dull moment with ya hon!
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  1. I remember going to Medieval Times in Dallas many times. I don't remember the Queen of Beauty and Love, but I do remember always being picked to receive a carnation (because I scream that freaking loudly).

    Sounds like a super fun night. What a great way to spend a free Friday!

  2. Freaking Snus. TJ will be all of that place if we go down south next year!!!!

  3. Only in Germany. Can we make this the new catchphrase? Only, I'm going to change mine.

    Great post.

  4. hhaha... that's awesome :) I've done the medieval times in Orlando a when i was younger.. and of course it's a fun time.. but this sounds hilarious. I'm so glad you all had a day off! It's definitely much needed from time to time :)

  5. @Jimmie - Haha, I love that you have been there too. Maybe they did something special because it was a school trip. It was funny and embarrassing nonetheless!
    @ KY - Snus is the devil. And for sure ya'll have to go next year. Although, there are places that do this all over germany. I'll have to send you the link!
    @Mollie - Don't you just feel like there are days when everything can apply to this saying?! And thanks :)
    @Laura - it was a blast, weird blast, but still fun! And yes, the day off was MUCH needed for all of us

  6. Okay, I have never been to Germany. Never heard of Snus(even the spelling looks terrible) & never been to Medieval Times. But I loved this whole entire post!!!Happy to see u had a fabulous, fun friday night:)

  7. This seems...terribly unsafe. And totally hilarious. You must feel like a contestant on the Amazing Race sometimes.

  8. Wow, that looks fantastic. I wish there's something like that here in California. I love medieval settings.


  9. Thanks for stopping by my blog on Friday!! : )

    I've never been to Medieval Times here in Dallas, I drive by it all the time though!! Looks like fun! Maybe I'll go sometime.

    Hope you are having a great day!


  10. @ Sherri - well, I wouldn't recommend the snus, maybe not recommend Germany at times, but the medieval dinner thing, so funny and good!
    @Sarah - I feel like everything over here is terribly unsafe. Its nice at times though, not overly careful like the US is
    @Brownbugz - there might be, check to see if there is a medieval times in your area. It will be oh-so-corny, but I promise ya'll will have a good time
    @ Rachel - well you are welcome, thanks for stopping by too! And I'll give you the same advise as I gave to Brownbugz above, you won't be dissapointed :)

  11. Thanks for stopping by our blog! This looks like a really cool restaurant..I just went to Dallas a few months ago--soo I wish I heard Medieval Times then :/...Happy Blogging!

  12. very cool...we ate at a place like this in Vegas...such an experience :)

  13. Great post! Although the whole program was a bit... well, weird, the place looks great and I'm sure that after a couple of german beers it's a big blast!

    Last year I went to a medieval castle... it was really nice! We ate greasy basic food cooked in the big kitchen of the castle, there were knights and... er, chicken running around. People working at the castle were very into their role... it was like living in a medieval movie. You wandered through the rooms of the castle and saw different scenes! I loved it!

  14. Wow, looks like a fun night! Last spring we went to a medieval festival near us and I had to laugh at the pig's head they were roasting. I mean, there's a reason that kind of food went out of style. :-)

  15. wow, that sounds like a lot of fun!! i love medieval stuff as well. Next christmas, you should go and check out the medieval-themed xmas market in Esslingen (http://respacedgirl.blogspot.com/2010/12/battle-vi.html) it's the best xmas market EVER!! hope u get the chance to see it!! can't wait to hear more of ur German adventures!


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