A Knight's Tale

Friday night was a rare one. The guys usually have one day off  a week, and it is hardly ever, if never, on the weekend. But because of the odd number of teams in the league, the hubs had a spielfrei on Friday and we decided to take advantage of it.

To be able to 'go out' during hockey season is so weird. In this league anyway, the majority of the games are held on Friday and Sunday with a few Tuesdays scattered here and there. So when most people are planning what they will be doing on the weekends, we usually plan if we are going to do something late Sunday night or all day Monday. Events at bars, weekend concerts and the such are typically off limits because of the game schedule.

But, like I said, we had a rare Friday night off. And we couldn't just sit around and not do anything, right? That is where the Ritter Keller comes in. A medieval themed restaurant! How corny and cheesy and awesome does that all sound at once. 

I am no stranger to these medieval shows, we took a class trip my junior year of high school to Medieval Times in Dallas, TX. There they had a big horse show, jousting, knights and a king and queen. Let me tell you, those people were working hard for their minimum wage; they never broke character! And of course I was chosen at the end of the show as the "Queen of Love and Beauty" and got to go up on stage. So yes, I am familiar with how these shows work back home. 

No, not me, but how awkward and creepster is the picture?!

Source

So this Ritter Mahl, or Knights Meal, was really fun in its own way. They had a program in English, but since there were only 6 of us English speakers there that night out of about 100 people, it ended up being komplett auf Deutsch. I understood ok, but then again, we didn't really study too many Medieval terms in my German class. Go figure.

The Ritter Saal. Really pretty cool!

Don't get me wrong, it was a great time with the other North American couples. I don't think we could go anywhere and not have a good time (we are always the loudest in the restaurant, laughing it up. Typisch Amerikanisch). But there were some things that would only work in Germany. Not that they are bad or wrong, its just that if a restaurant did some of these things back in America, I would definitely expect some of the people involved in the 'jokes' to have their feelings hurt or might possibly even take legal action.

For instance. At one point in the meal, they made all the bald men stand up and singled them out with some German joke, which I did not understand. Only in Germany. 

The presenter of the whole meal, who really did an excellent job, then picked two people to taste the food to make sure it wasn't poisonous. He chose the biggest and fattest guy in the room, because he obviously knew a lot about food. Their words, not mine. Only in Germany. And then he choose the scrawniest guy at the dinner. They had to taste test several items, a Brussel Sprout being the last of the group. The presenter then bent the guys over, and with their bums sticking up and out in the air, he tested (read: 'smelled) for the "Breath of Death" - no joke, what it was called in our program - to see if they guys had been poisoned by the food. Only in Germany.

What is going on in the photo?!

There was a live fire breather/swallower. He choose to spit huge ball of fire right over our table. He was actually pretty good, but we are lucky to still have eyebrows...seriously. Only in Germany.

Check out that belly. Think he was eating more than just fire!

When walking into the Knights Hall, you were forced to wash your hands in a trough full of warm water and rose petals to cleanse your hands and soul. The hubs called it the E-Coli Bucket. Neat idea, but yuck. Only in Germany.

They also showed the women how to properly rub your man's belly when he was too full. They choose two complete strangers to display how it is supposed to be done. Which, I might add, looked pretty sensual. Only in Germany.

And to finish off the meal, you got Snus Snus shot up into your nose. Think I am kidding? Check out the picture below. Only in Germany. (Disclaimer - Snus is ground up tobacco made for snuffing, nothing worse!)

First, check out the snus flying. Then check out that awesome beard!

But nonetheless, the food was excellent! They even brought it out on a huge plate topped with a flaming firework. Again, probably only in Germany.

 But I will say the presentation was great!

And here is the after picture. We did some pretty good damage to our massive platter. 

So greasy and sooooo good

Our server was so funny, and the whole program was a really neat experience. And of course, the company couldn't have been better or more fun.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot. Everyone wore these funny little knight bibs because it was a pretty messy meal. The hubs choose to wear his in style. With no shirt underneath. Tucked in.

 

Never a dull moment with ya hon!